Whenever I ask someone here at Tufts if he or she is a basketball fan, I almost always get the same answer: "Really I'm more of a baseball fan."
My face immediately falls and the person with whom I'm speaking often tries to justify the answer by saying something like "well, the NBA has just gotten so...boring. Every guy is out for himself, and it's not much fun to watch." If you've ever said or thought something along these lines, this top 10 list of the most entertaining guys in the league is for you.
Bear in mind, many of these players were not selected on the basis of their skills because, let's face it, there are hundreds of other factors that contribute to entertainment value. And now, without further ado, the top 10 most entertaining guys in the league.
10. Nate Robinson. The Knicks' rookie shooting guard is 5'9" and 180 pounds soaking wet. Though he's nearly always the shortest guy on the court by at least half a foot, I'm not sure he knows it, seeing as how he picked a fight with 6'11" Eddy Curry earlier in the year. In addition to being small, the guy can play; he can handle the ball, shoot, and even dunk. That's right: Nate-Dawg has a vertical that's almost as tall as I am, and he proved it by winning this year's Slam Dunk Contest. In case you're still not convinced of Robinson's entertainment value, I've got one anecdote left: when asked what he would change about the league, he responded: "I wish we still had roommates." Awww.
9. Shaquille O'Neal. Truthfully, Shaq's days of wowing on the court are just about over. But that doesn't mean we can't remember fondly how he told us that his game would be like the Pythagorean Theorem - no one has an answer.
8. Allen Iverson. AI has to be on this list, just because he's hands down the toughest guy in the league. Despite his relatively tiny 165-pound frame, he's an offensive expert, having won the scoring title four times. Watching him drive through five defenders and wind up on the floor as the ball floats inexplicably through the net never gets old.
7. Smush Parker. We really have no idea whether this guy can ball, because he has the terrible misfortunate of sharing a backcourt with ball-hogging Kobe Bryant. But he cemented his entertainment value a couple months ago when he explaining the unique name dubbed to his car, a Cadillac Escalade: the Smushcalade. "Because it's all Smushed out," he said.
6. Dirk Nowitzki. He's a 7'0 German with a terrible haircut, a personal shot-doctor, a bow-legged free throw stance, and deadly range. Entertainment gold.
5. Darrell Armstrong. The Mavs' twelfth man is averaging only eight minutes a game, but this guy carries his weight while riding the bench. When Dirk fell out of bounds trying to save a ball this season, DA jumped off the bench and started pulling his teammate up by both arms and pushing him back down court. In a subsequent game, when one of the Blazers was shooting free throws, Darrell sprang off his chair so that he was facing the shooter and started jeering at him with the fans. They should make an award for guys like this.
4. Dwyane Wade. He's basically shooting guard perfection. He's got a lethal shot, great court vision, quick defensive hands, and a real knack for driving the lane. Essentially, he's a walking highlight reel. He has career highs of 48 points, six steals, and 14 assists, and the 24-year-old could exceed those numbers on any given night.
3. Brian Scalabrine. In case you find yourself at a Celtics game in which the home team is hopelessly trailing by 27 points, fear not - the night is not a lost cause. Watch the red head with the beer belly who almost always fouls more than he scores and whose facial expression seems to read: "I signed this contract so that I could watch the Celts from up close. I didn't think I'd actually have to play." He won't let you down.
2. The Detroit Pistons Starting Five. This pick is for all you basketball purists out there who claim you're no longer NBA fans because team ball has died. I have news for you: it's alive and well and lives in Detroit. These guys have the most balanced scoring of any team in the league; there are four Pistons averaging over thirteen points per night. And now that Larry's out of the way, they're not only a defensive powerhouse - Chauncey Billups leads perhaps the most dominant offense outside the Southwest.
1. Steve Nash. This floppy-haired, palm-licking Canadian is the full offensive package; he runs one of the tightest and most entertaining offenses the league has ever seen. An accurate shooter, Nash can also find any open man on the court and toss him an impossibly quick behind-the-back bounce pass. I mean, he made Boris Diaw a star, he managed to incorporate soccer skills into last year's Slam Dunk Contest, and he altered expectations so that we fans don't even blink an eye when his Suns score 130 points in a game. Plus, he takes books like The Communist Manifesto on road trips.
So, there you have it. Ten reasons to be entertained by the NBA. If nothing else, these guys should give you Red Sox fans something good to watch in between the World Series and Spring Training.
Leah Roffman is a junior majoring in political science and philosophy. She can be reached at Leah.Roffman@tufts.edu.
