As you read about my antics each week, I am sure many of you must wonder how my family reacts. This being the Lush's last column of the semester, I thought it was time to appease the other lushes in my extended family and write about a drunken evening spent out with them.
The occasion? My cousin Kerry's 21st. The cast of characters? The Lush, my sister, three cousins, assorted roommates, one boyfriend and the Lush's godparents. Uncle Jack and Aunt Barb treated the whole group to dinner at Fiore in the North End so it started out as a classy evening, but that classiness declined exponentially as the night progressed.
Kerry is the youngest of the older set of cousins in my family, so her newfound legality is quite the cause to be celebrated. It completes our normal going-out set and since she is not as big of a lush as some other cousins (self included), Kerry adds some much needed common sense and responsibility to our group.
I arrived and found the group waiting in the bar area (naturally). We began with a round of pre-dinner martinis. Like I said, we started classy.
Upon sitting at our table, we quickly realized that Boston Mayor Thomas Menino was seated at the very next table. The Lush is having a pretty good run of meeting famous people when she is out on the town these past weeks. But we were still waiting for one very important member of the party - Sister Jean.
Now, Sr. Jean is not your typical woman of God. She's young, she's hip, and she takes no prisoners. And she was seated next to the Lush. In all my years of Catholic education, I can honestly say I had never double-fisted alcohol in the presence of a nun until last Sunday, but there I was, martini in my left hand and cabernet in my right, when she arrived. Luckily, she was too busy teasing my cousin Laura, who is presently being courted by a Baptist minister, to notice the Lush's lushness.
And as it turns out Sr. Jean and the Mayor are, like, BFF, so this was quite the entertaining dinner.
Afterwards, all us crazy kids headed off to Daisy's (yes, again), promising Aunt Barb we wouldn't make Kerry do shots (yeah, right), and trying to convince Sr. Jean to come to the bar with us. Sadly, she declined.
We arrived and, horror of horrors, it appeared as if Daisy's was closed. Phew, not closed, just empty. We came in and livened the place up pretty quickly with a couple rounds of shots (sorry, Aunt Barb). Melissa and I popped in to the CVS next door to buy some cards and got a big game of F-ck the Dealer started. Ben did his part by repeatedly peer pressuring each of us into round after round of shots - not that the Lush requires much convincing - especially the birthday girl who was "a bit tuckered" and unwilling to drink heavily. Don't worry, we changed her mind.
I have a feeling my companions are going to get mad at me for leaving parts of the night out, but in my defense, we were there for about five hours and we did a lot of shots. The Lush was not a happy camper at work on Monday, let me tell you.
I am just going to throw out a bunch of things that happened over the rest of the night because I do not remember the order in which they occurred. So here we go. Kerry got a lap dance from a bouncer. Laura hit on a 19-year-old and no one thought it was wrong until we realized he was my little brother's age - Laura's 24. Ben drunk dialed Sr. Jean. The Lush was accused of hitting on an old cop although I swear I was just making friendly conversation. Ben forced Kerry to do a Three Wise Men shot and she promptly went to the ladies' room to pull the trigger, thereafter vomiting for about five minutes straight. The Lush tried to get the 19-year-old to hook up with Kerry.
There were also assorted heart-to-hearts, serious overusage of the phrase, "Do you, like, love it?" ? la Nicole Richie on "The Simple Life," a lot of "dancing like crazy" on chairs and maybe on the bar. Considering there were about four bartenders for nine of us, our glasses and livers were well stocked for the whole night.
I am not 100 percent sure what time I got home that night, but when I arrived there I had some hilarious instant messages from my sister who had left earlier than I, including the following profound statements:
SisterofLush: what would jenn harrison do
SisterofLush: besides be awe some
SisterofLush: ps mayor menino, like, loves us
I will leave you with those little gems. Kerry, welcome to legal drinking. Now you are going to have to put up with your sisters, my sister and myself every weekend. Lucky you. And yes, we are always that ridiculous. Always.
For those of you who will not be on campus for Commencement, this is the last you will hear from the Lush. I have decided to save most of my nostalgia and sentimentality for the Commencement Issue (I am sure Senior Week will provide plenty of material), so you have all been spared my retrospection.
But let me just say a few things. To anyone I have offended with my belligerent ways over the past four years, I am probably sorry. To everyone I drank with, thanks for the good times. It has been an honor and a privilege being your Lush this past year. To the younger generation of lushes out there, while this Lush is languishing in the nine-to-five world next year, keep the dream alive. Everyone else, I'll be around Boston: Look me up.
Cheers Tufts - I will miss you. Lush out.
Jillian Harrison is double majoring in history and archeology. She can be reached via e-mail at Jillian.Harrison@tufts.edu, just not on Friday, Saturday and Tuesday nights.
