A guy walks into a crowded bar, looks at all the lovely ladies, and frowns. Although there are a number of women he could approach, the fact that he has never seen any of these faces before leaves him with his tail between his legs, ready to flee.
Twenty years ago, this guy would probably have been more relaxed, waiting until after a drink or two to mingle his way through the bar scene. Now, however, he feels safest grabbing a beer from his fridge and turning on his computer, at least according to a Pew Internet and American Life Project survey released earlier this year.
The survey found that more and more Americans are finding love online, via dating websites such as Match.com, personal profile sites such as Facebook.com, and chatting services like AOL Instant Messenger.
Among respondents who reported being single and actively searching for a romantic partner, 74 percent said they have used the Internet in some way to "further their romantic interests."
Additionally, 11 percent of the Internet users who responded to the survey (representing roughly 16 million Americans) said they have gone to a dating website where they could meet people online. Out of single people and "looking" people, 37 percent have visited those sites.
The study also found that users most likely to explore online dating fall under into the 18 to 29-year-old demographic.
One Tufts student, Brian (name has been changed), said he and his boyfriend met on Gay.com, though he went on the site looking to chat and did not expect to find someone to date.
"We talked online for like a week and then he gave me his number," Brian said. "We talked on the phone every day for about two weeks."
Brian then met the future boyfriend and some friends at a bar, a situation he described as "very comfortable," and the rest was history.
While Brian had luck finding romance online, junior Elaine Harris said she has never used an online dating service. "I feel that most college students rely on college to provide them with opportunities to meet people," she said.
"It's more likely students that are just out of college find it difficult balancing a new career with a social life in a new place, and need help finding extra dates," Harris said.
Brandon Isaacson (LA '05), said this difficulty prompted him to subscribe to Match.com. "It's harder to find girls your own age when you're not all on campus together," he said, "I figured [Match.com] would be a way to find people outside of the norm of clubs and bars."
Isaacson's figuring, however, turned out to be wrong: he recently canceled his three-month subscription to the dating site. Isaacson did not meet any of the 15 to 20 women he communicated with via the site: he didn't find a good match. "I wasn't speaking with anyone I was interested in," he said.
While Isaacson struck out with Match.com, he said the Internet is a way for shyer people to search for romance.
Brian agreed that meeting online erased some of the nervous butterflies that haunt single romance-hunters. "If I had seen him in a bar first or vice versa, we might not have gone up to each other because I am somewhat of a shy person," he said. "That is something the Internet is good for because it removes some of a person's inhibitions and lets them be more adventurous and brave."
Some students don't agree. "I would hope that I wouldn't have to search online for a date," junior Ian McClellan said.
Isaacson said that although he thinks online dating is a less scary option than an in-person approach for timid singles, he thinks that "using the Internet to find dates is socially weak."
The use of online dating websites also raises concerns about security. According to the Pew survey, 66 percent of Internet users agree that online dating is a dangerous activity because it puts personal information on the Internet.
Brian said, however, that he felt safe using Gay.com. "I don't think that meeting someone online is a whole lot different from seeing a random stranger in a bar and going up to them. I mean, the person at the bar could be a rapist, serial killer, or Mr. Right, but you don't really know until you talk and get to know them," he said.
The survey also explored other uses the Internet has for singles. Out of the 10 million single and searching Internet users surveyed, 18 percent said they had used the Internet to research a previous date, and 17 percent said they had used it to research a potential date.
McClellan said that he has used Facebook.com to look up potential dates. "I don't look at bios or personal info, really, but it's good if I can't remember the name of a girl I'm interested in," he said.
Harris, however, said with a laugh that "Facebook is just helpful to stare at people.Isaacson said that he still uses Facebook.com to check updated photos and to receive messages from friends, but he labeled himself a "passive" user who does not request new friends or update his profile.
"I'm not a social butterfly or anything, but I'd still rather approach a girl than poke her," he said.
