Being artsy like us, you've obviously wondered from time to time how to keep it classy here at Tufts while maintaining your Jumbo pride. Since you read our section, you're on the right path, but, understandably, Homecoming has you stumped.
Would a Mondrian print make a good background on a pep rally sign? Is it appropriate to call for a standing ovation at the football game? Is a keg stand like a music stand, but for kegs? Don't fret; we're here to coach you in school spirit with these 10 tips. Now, drop and give us 20! (It sounds like we know what that means, right?)
10) We've obviously seen a lot of movies, even sports movies. In these films, whenever a momentous play is about to be made, someone in the crowd must take the responsibility to initiate a "slow clap." Learn this convention and apply it as appropriate.
9) When the pep band takes requests (and if it doesn't, it should), have sheet music for Mozart's "Symphony No. 29 in A" on hand. For extra school spirit points, offer to conduct!
8) When you just can't curb your urge to create, make a sculpture of Larry and Adele Bacow from discarded cans of Natty Light. ECO might retroactively nominate you for Homecoming King or Queen. Or Homecoming Captain Planet.
7) Like any good college student, you only smoke when you're drinking. Like any good artsy kid, you'll thank yourself later if you make sure to use only the finest Dutch rolling papers and tobacco. Share them with your new best friend, the cheerleading squad.
6) Though going to the football game is pretty much antithetical to artsy (what if the ball flies into the stands and smashes your glasses into your face?), make an homage to your favorite postmodernist (and linebacker!) with a creative sign. Be aware none of this means anything.
5) As a pre-tailgating activity, decorate brown-and-blue school spirited trash cans for all of your friends and place them beside their respective beds. Was Florence Nightingale a Jumbo?
4) Be the 76th trombone in the big parade, but if you get this reference, you may as well skip Homecoming and audition for regional community theatre - just wear brown and blue while you prepare your one-minute monologue!
3) Put your painting skills to good use and set up a face paint stand near the Campus Center. Imprecise, Impressionist brush strokes work best on drunk faces. We don't know that from experience.
2) Like Keats, compose an "Ode on a Grecian Urn" - and by that we mean a frat house toilet. You'll be on intimate terms with it after 24 hours of Jungle Juice toasts to celebrate the team.
1) And no matter what you're drinking, put it in a tea cup and stick your pinky finger out. Actually, don't; we just wanted to see if you'd try it.
