It's mid-October. You know what that means: TV seasons are officially in full swing. And all is well. You can find out the fates of all your favorite characters, have something to talk about when you hit an awkward pause in conversation, and, most importantly, have so many other options about how to spend your nights instead of doing problem sets. Everyone wins. Right?
Wrong! Because, dear reader, you must know that the beginning of a TV season brings a sinister little hitchhiker with it: the recommendation. You know exactly what I mean: the constant badgering by those people who call themselves your friends to watch a certain show. "It's sooo good!" they'll cry. "It'll change your life!"
The thing is, its actual "goodness" or "not goodness" is irrelevant. For some reason or another, you just simply don't care about the show, no matter how much your peers may rave about it. And honestly, you just want them to shut up.
Now, I'm not saying those recommendations don't sometimes have backing. Occasionally, you'll turn on the TV, accidentally watch the program, and think "So THAT'S what they all were raving about! Wow! I wish I started watching sooner!" "Arrested Development" and "The Venture Bros." stand among those ranks for me.
But, unfortunately, those examples are far outnumbered by the worse kind. You turn on the television, expecting 22 (or 45) minutes of nigh-orgasmic bliss at the brilliance of this show ... only to feel underwhelmed, bored, or just plain annoyed by the end. And, of course, when you go up to your friends and tell them that ... well, let's just say you can always find new friends, right?
Now to go over all of these shows would take years. To make a ranking list would be rather hypocritical of me, considering last week's column. So I'm just going to point out a few that have been causing particular misery and frustration in my otherwise happy existence.
"Battlestar Gallactica" - Now, I'm a nerd. I will admit so freely. But even I have my nerdy limits. For example, I will not go up to the average person and recommend a show called "Battlestar Gallactica." Furthermore, I will not go up to said person, make such a recommendation, and then go on to claim it is the best show on TV. I don't care how relevant its political commentary is. I don't care if they revealed the cure to AIDS during the great three-part space battle against the Klingons (yes, yes, I know). At the end of the day, the show is still called (say it with me) "Battlestar Gallactica."
"House"/"Grey's Anatomy" - "It's the best medical show on TV!" So basically, out of an entire genre that's filled to the brim with melodrama and implausible, stilted dialogue, it's the one that sucks the least. Great. Come back to me when you have a real reason that I should turn on this show.
And no, Dr. House being "the most complex character currently on/ever on TV/ever in Western literature" does not count. Because unless I tune in and find myself immediately writhing on the floor and foaming at the mouth from all that turmoil I feel coming from his character, I will be let down. I mean, honestly, I've heard far too much about this character to even be slightly satisfied with the actual product.
"Lost" - Okay, here I'm cheating since I actually ended up caving to the words of my friends and renting Season 1 of "Lost" over the summer. I got halfway through it. And you know what? I just didn't like it.
The characters were annoying, the dialogue was cringe-inducing, and I couldn't bring myself to give a crap about the ever-so-many mysteries of the island. Oh! There's a polar bear! How'd that get there? Oh! There's a big metal door! Why can't we open it? Oh! There's a hobbit! How'd he get out of Middle Earth? If that were all, I would not be writing about "Lost" in this column. The problem is that I now get a new response: "You have to keep watching. It gets better in the second season."
Okay, folks, seriously: Am I the only one who thinks that a show should be good by a few episodes in? I'm not saying it should hit the ground running. But if I don't like a show after 10 hours of watching it, I'd wager there's a decent chance I won't like it period. Call me old-fashioned. Maybe I just belong in a simpler time before all these new-fangled TV dramas. Back when the entertainment came from seeing if Pa could kill the deer for tonight's dinner. You know, like "Little House on the Prairie" with Melissa Gilbert. No, actually not that.
So, are these shows bad? Maybe. Could they be worth my time? Maybe. Are they television's saviors? Probably not. Would I be very happy if I never heard about them again? Most definitely.
And that's all she wrote, folks. No, I don't recommend that show. Cause I'm not 70.
Devin Toohey is a sophomore majoring in Classics. He can be reached at Devin.Toohey@tufts.edu.
