We at the Daily are going to be brutally honest here-this week's National League Championship Series has been a complete joke. From Jeff Suppan pitching eight shutout innings in Game Three, to nobody knowing how to get Endy Chavez out, we're quite tired of watching the JV league championship. So we came up with a list of ten things we would willingly turn our TV dials to instead.
10. Figure skating. At least Sarah Hughes doesn't have an ugly bright red goatee like Scott Spiezio.
9. A random Red Sox-Indians game in August. At least Fausto Carmona gives up game-winning home runs to real hitters, like David Ortiz. Watching Billy Wagner give up a three-run blast to So "Incredibly Awful" Taguchi is just pathetic.
8. The Kansas City Royals' starting pitchers. Hey, they were better than John Maine, Oliver Perez, and Steve Trachsel. Starting those three in the NLCS? That's like starting Jeff Suppan in an important game. Oh wait...
7. The movie "Rookie of the Year." Because Henry Rowengartner's probably a better pitcher than Jeff Weaver. Although the comedic value of Daniel Stern and Gary Busey is probably on par with that of the NLCS.
6. 7th Heaven. This series should have ended eight years ago, just like Julio Franco's career.
5. Pretty much anything on TUTV. To be fair, we haven't seen the programming lately, but anything's better than Tim McCarver. If you can't score the guy on third base, he's not going to give you a run. How true.
4. The Dallas Cowboys. How can you compare the drama of the Cowboys to the drama of the JVCS? With the Cowboys you get TO, dynamite cheerleaders, Drew Bledsoe, and Bill Parcells' man-boobs. With the NLCS you get blank stares from Tony La Russa and two teams booing Braden Looper.
3. NASCAR/Bowling/Billiards/Dominoes/Poker. None of these sports have real athletes, and neither does the National League.
2. Hockey. Compared to Game 3, which had Suppan pitching eight shutout innings, at least you'd see some hits.
1. Sal Fasano. We don't care what he's doing-we just want to watch him do it.
-by Alex Bloom and Evans Clinchy
