Sex is everywhere. You can't avoid it. Whether from watching teen-flicks or walking in on students in Carmichael's lounge, we're all familiar with the gist of what happens during intercourse.
Some of us reluctantly acknowledge sex as an inevitable act of reproduction, while others possess stacks of NC-17 movies and certain magazine subscriptions to "educate" themselves. Perhaps you fall somewhere in between these extremes?
Unfortunately, sometimes distinguishing between fact and myth is difficult. After all, what is sexier than discussing the outer and inner lips of the vagina with a 55-year-old family doctor?
According to Tufts Daily sex columnist-turned-author, Amber Madison (LA '05), sex talk is nothing to shy away from, because it gives people "the confidence they need to negotiate sexual relationships on their own terms."
Madison will take her frank talks about sex and sexuality to Hillel tonight at 7:30 p.m., in an event sponsored by Vitality, Public Health at Tufts (PHAT), the Student Health Advisory Board (SHAB), and the Community Health and American Studies departments.
Madison's recent book, "Hooking Up: A Girl's All-Out Guide to Sex and Sexuality" will interest both girls and guys because she candidly and unabashedly covers it all (with pictures and graphs); the Big O, contraceptives, sexual stereotypes, body image, as well as serious issues like pregnancy, abortion and rape.
Her take on sex may cause controversy, but some support her philosophy. "The drive to have sex is something natural. Its like being thirsty or being hungry," Madison said. "People have so much guilt about sex - that it's dirty. Ultimately what happens is ... sex begins to become something [girls] do just for other people. And it becomes something that brings them down."
Obviously, Madison is not advocating for everyone to perform promiscuous acts in the street, but "good sex is part of any good adult relationship when you are ready," said Madison. "Sex won't keep you in love with someone or make you fall in love with someone."
"It's important that girls stop and analyze. If there is a guy and you want him to like you, sex will not make him do that."
In fact, "being sexy is being confident for both guys and girls," Madison said, "although that doesn't mean not showering for five days, and being confident after rolling around in the mud." She admits her limitations in dating advice, but is, nevertheless, observant of the people around her.
"To be completely honest, of all the guys I know, most are attracted to girls who are healthy, and can take care of themselves," said Madison, "Some want to be able to say, 'She can go play soccer.'"
Amber strongly disagrees with many media messages portraying women as eternally flawless but does not place full blame on advertisements and television. So where does the pressure to be "sexy" come from?
"I think it is pressure from other girls," said Madison, "I think it is hard for any woman of any age. The instances of eating disorders, among 30- to 40-year-old women have gone up [as well as] the pressure to be perfect and look young."
She draws a strong link between real inner beauty and the realization of one's sexuality, in contrast to the ridiculously plastic and gaunt-looking "role-models" of our generation. Some conservatives on the opposite spectrum may ironically group her advocacy of sexual discussion with dirtiness and a denial of purity (or beauty). However, Madison's maturity at a young 22 years old (possibly deemed too young to be a sexpert) may stem from her liberal upbringing and her exposure to the topic of sex at a very young age.
"I don't even remember having a talk because it's one of those things I just grew up knowing," said Madison. At Hillel, she will remind us that we should all question why sex is still taboo to talk about.
