The following is a list of people that I'd most like to be, in no particular order: 1. Jay-Z; 2. LeBron James; 3. Theo Epstein; 4. Indiana Jones; and 5. Batman. Only one of them is applicable to this column.
You see, while other sports fans wait all year for March Madness, the Super Bowl or the Rose Bowl, my favorite time in sports includes neither baseball gloves nor football pads. Though no one will cut down a net at the end of baseball's Winter Meetings, it is undoubtedly the coolest three to four days that sports has to offer.
When Epstein, the Red Sox' former boy-wonder General Manager, heads to Orlando today, he'll be looking to add a shortstop, an outfielder, bullpen help ... not to mention the possible trade of Manny Ramirez.
And I'll be following every rumor, every bit of speculation. I'll check blogs the moment after I roll out of bed in the morning and right before I lie down at night. If I get any work done, it'll be a miracle.
Will the Sox sign J.D Drew to a multiyear deal? Is Jake Peavy really available? Are Matt Kemp and Andy LaRoche really quality compensation for Manny? Is Julio Lugo the next Sox shortstop? Who's going to be our closer? These are the questions I'll be looking to answer, but trust me, your team has just as much going on.
The best part of the Winter Meetings is often what doesn't happen. Peter Gammons traditionally writes a column about the "almost trades and almost signings" that could have shaken up the baseball world as we know it had they gone through.
Come Monday, WEEI will be flooded with calls from every idiot in the Greater Boston area. They'll whine, they'll rant, and they'll criticize Theo for running the team into the ground. And for once, it won't bother me. Because I'll be playing GM like the rest of them.
The great thing about the Winter Meetings is that on paper, deals are pretty clear-cut. In the winter, David Ortiz was once a waste of a signing, and Edgar Renteria was a worthwhile investment. In the winter, the Chicago Cubs are applauded for signing a 31- year-old human strikeout (Alfonso Soriano) to a seven-year, $136 million deal. In the winter of 2000, Alex Rodriguez was the player who was going to take the Texas Rangers to the Promised Land. In the winter of 2007, A-Rod is one sub-par season from getting run out of New York on a rail.
I suppose to some people, the Winter Meetings symbolize all that is wrong with professional sports. Every year, mediocre pitchers like Matt Clement, Adam Eaton and Kris Benson get massive contracts that pay them far more than they're worth. Players like Soriano and Carlos Lee get $100 million deals that teams will almost certainly regret later. Frankly, I couldn't care less - as long as it's not the Sox signing them.
So if this column interests you in the least, let me offer a few suggestions. Set ESPN.com as your homepage. Read Buster Olney's and Peter Gammons' blogs. If you're a Red Sox fan, check out BostonDirtDogs.com.
To put it simply, as much as I'd love to be a professional athlete, I think that building a team is just as cool. I certainly have a better chance of being the next Theo Epstein than the next LeBron James.
Will Herberich is a freshman. He can be reached at Willian.Herberich@tufts.edu.
