I'm not very good at geography. So when I called Verizon to find out calling rates for the cruise I would be taking over spring break, and the lady on the phone asked me which islands we would be visiting I said: "I think San Juan and Puerto Rico."
The woman didn't try to be discreet. I mean she didn't even cover the phone or anything. She just laughed at me and said, "Um ... sir, San Juan is in Puerto Rico."
I'd be lying if I said my trip got off to a great start. When my dad drove two of my friends and me to the airport at 5 a.m. for a 7 a.m. flight, we thought we had it made. Until we pulled up at 5:45 and saw a hundred people waiting in line.
Luckily, the line moved fast and the attendants got to us. Too bad I was selected for a "random check" before even reaching security. When I went inside I didn't see any special line for random checks though. Instead, another baggage attendant came up to me and said he would take care of my luggage, but not without adding, "If I help you out, you've gotta help me out." At this point, I was ready to give the guy a few dollars to get my bag to Miami, so I assured him I would play his game.
My baggage was checked, we were through security and ready to head to the plane. My friend Nick decided it would be smart to double-check the gate number on the board.
We checked the list. "Yup. Still C87. And ... canceled. Awesome." Continental Airlines told us that no one from the 7 a.m. flight would be able to board any planes until 2 p.m., meaning we wouldn't get to Florida until about 5. The cruise was set to leave at 4 p.m.
Now, in order to understand the irony of the whole situation I'll give you some context. The rest of my friends had originally booked later flights from Boston. Saadon, Nick and I did the same until we realized that they definitely were not allowing enough time for delays. So, as the "smart" ones, we decided to stay at my house in N.J. a night earlier and take a really early flight from Newark on Sunday. And there we stood, in the middle of Newark International being told we had no options but to miss our trip, while all our friends' flights are "on schedule."
There's a certain science to an airline's cancellation of flights. There are basically two options: they can screw one entire plane of 150 people for days at a time while all of their other flights run on time, or they can slightly inconvenience the rest of the day's flights by allowing standby room for the passengers affected by cancellation. In this situation, Continental went with the former, and I, it turns out, was to be one of the screwed.
Airlines also do this thing where they will find out about open flights but only tell certain passengers inside information. Only by chance did we overhear one of the attendants mention an open flight leaving in five minutes to Ft. Lauderdale. We ran to the gate and convinced them to let us on. Of course, our luggage was still going to Miami, so I didn't end up getting my clothing until Tuesday.
So, it was a rough start. Once I made it on board, however, I did learn a lot. I learned that there is such a thing as a "cougar," an older female (often a divorc?©e) who preys on significantly younger men. I also learned that cougars named "Cindy" have a knack for hitting on every single person in my group of friends except me.
I learned that 24-hour pizza is never a bad thing. I learned that when you're in the middle of an ocean and you run into someone from high school you shouldn't ask, "You're on this cruise?" The answer is almost definitively yes.
I learned that there are some 40-year-old guys who are still trying to relive their glory days by telling a bunch of frat boys they meet on a shuttle bus about how many women they slept with in Mexico 15 years ago.
But most importantly I learned that I shouldn't be so embarrassed, because there are people just like me out there. When we shared a van on our way to St. Maarten, a woman with a glass eye (no joke) asked me which islands we had visited so far.
I blurted out San Juan, while my friend simultaneously said Puerto Rico. She gazed at me and asked, "How did you like those two islands?" And I just smiled at her and said, "They were great."
Neil Padover is a senior majoring in English. He can be reached at neil.padover@tufts.edu.
