You know, I don't think we're talking about a repeat, or a three-peat, or even a four-peat. That's right. We're talking a minimum eight-peat."
-Robert Smigel, "Bill Swerski's Superfans"
It seems like only yesterday that Chicago's "Da Bulls" were the most dominant sports team on the planet.
We may never again see a team quite like the one that went 203-43 in the three seasons between the winter of 1995 and summer of '98, hardly breaking a sweat en route to three-straight NBA titles.
But oh, how the mighty have fallen. The winter of 1999 brought not only a player lockout, but Michael Jordan's second retirement as well, and the Bulls haven't been the same since. The post-Jordan era has brought five last-place Central Division finishes, two NBA-worst records, and zero wins in a postseason series.
As a post-Larry Celtics fan, I can't help but feel sorry for the post-MJ Bulls. It's never easy to go through such a dramatic fall from grace, and there's perhaps none worse than the one Chicago suffered starting in '99.
This year, however, the Bulls have a chance at redemption. As luck would have it, they've drawn the defending champion Miami Heat in the first round. This means that for the fourth year in a row, center Ben Wallace has found himself matched up with Shaquille O'Neal in a playoff series.
The rivalry between the two elite big men began in the 2004 NBA Finals, when Shaq's Lakers ran into Wallace's Pistons. Big Ben averaged a double-double in the series' five games, the Big Aristotle played well but didn't get any help, and the Big Fat Franchise Destroyer (also known as Kobe Bryant) missed threes like never before, handing the Pistons the championship, four games to one.
The following year, Shaq took off for Miami and led the Heat to the Eastern Conference Finals, where they lost to Wallace and the Pistons. Then in 2006, O'Neal finally got revenge, as the Heat took both the conference final rematch and the NBA Finals with Dallas in six games each.
And for O'Neal-Wallace IV, the first opening-round meeting of the two big men, the setting is the Windy City. And I can't help but think ... what an inspirational place for the two men to meet.
For me, it inspires this question: what if Shaquille O'Neal is the best postseason player ever to set foot on that United Center floor?
I think everyone who's ever laid eyes on Michael Jordan just threw his or her newspaper away in disgust. But for those of you still with me, let's think about this for a second.
Jordan had a career playoff series record of 30-9, while Shaq enters this year with an eerily similar mark of 30-7 (including 26-0 when winning Game 1). And as for winning when it really counts?
Yes, Jordan has six championship rings, and no, Shaquille does not. He has a paltry four, and at 35, he's running out of time to play catch-up.
But for all his greatness, Jordan didn't find success with quite the same longevity. After all, it took him three years to get his Bulls out of the first round, and another three to get them to their first Finals, which they finally reached in 1991.
Once the Bulls got there, they were dominant. No argument here. But Jordan never won outside Chicago and he never won without Scottie Pippen, whereas Shaq revolutionized three franchises.
He put the expansion franchise Orlando Magic in the Finals at age 23, after it had finished 21-61 the year before his arrival. He put the Lakers in their first Finals since Magic Johnson in 2000, and last year, he put the Heat in the first Finals ever. The fact that Shaq has found so much success with three different teams is astounding. No other player in the history of the sport has that kind of r?©sum?©.
Jordan couldn't win without Pippen, but Shaq has won without Penny Hardaway; he's won without Kobe; and he's won without Dwyane Wade.
And speaking of winning without Mr. Wade, here's a stat to consider. Seeded fourth in the Eastern Conference at 44-38, the Heat have dealt with injuries to both Shaq and Wade throughout the regular season. Without Shaq, they're 19-23, while with him, they're a stellar 25-15, for a .625 winning percentage that puts everyone in the conference to shame, save for the Wallace-less Pistons.
With Wade? They're 27-24. A decent record, no doubt, but not as good as a record of, say, 17-14 - their record without him.
That's right, the Heat have been better without Dwyane Wade this season than with him.
Now obviously, this isn't the most reliable of statistical methods. I'm not trying to call D-Wade a bad player, as he obviously isn't. But he's also not an MVP candidate - not in the entire Association, and not even on his own team. It's time we started seeing Dwyane Wade for what he is - good, but replaceable.
Players like Wade (and Kobe, for that matter) are a tad one-dimensional. They can score, sure, but on teams like the modern-day Heat and the 2000 Lakers, they're not alone in that department. What a championship team really needs is someone to completely take the game over - someone who can rebound, play defense and dominate in the paint.
That responsibility - you guessed it - lies with the big man. And Shaq has lived up to it, and unlike Bryant, Wade and Jordan, he's averaged a double-double throughout his postseason career. When he won his first ring in 2000, he was dropping 31 and 15 every night for the Lakers. Not many players this side of Bill Russell can put up consistent numbers like that.
So that's why the Magic and Lakers have yet to win a postseason series since losing Shaq, and why the Heat never made the Finals before his arrival: because in the playoffs, you need that dominating big man to lead the way. Without him, bad things will happen.
Don't believe me? Just ask Kobe. Try his home number - I hear he'll be home all summer, starting Sunday.
