With Easter only a few days away, kids the whole world over are left to wonder why a bunny rabbit brings eggs during the night. There might even be a few kids who've been so misled that they believe the rabbit is an egg-laying freak of nature like the platypus. Still, the Easter Bunny ultimately can hang with Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, because it is impossible to dislike bunnies, which are God's cutest creation.
Before we go any further we should note two bunnies that didn't make the list. The Easter Bunny missed out for the simple reason that everybody knows the Easter Bunny doesn't exist, and Playboy Bunnies didn't make the list because the original top 10 was "Christ figures in movies," but we couldn't think of enough examples, so we decided to avoid anything that will further exacerbate my Catholic guilt. Here are 10 bunnies (and yes, a rabbit is the same thing as a bunny) that we'd want to have bringing us chocolate in the middle of the night:
10) Br'er Rabbit - Br'er Rabbit, the popular central figure of the old Uncle Remus tales, is said to have origins in West Africa as the trickster character whose stories mirror those of Anansi the spider. So this Easter, children beware. That seemingly fuzzy rabbit guy who lures you with his eggs and brightly colored outfits is nothing more than a spider in disguise. It looks like "Aqua Teen"'s MC Pee Pants is plotting something again.
9) Bunny Lebowski - "The Big Lebowski"(1998) reminds us that the seemingly glamorous acquisition of a trophy wife is sometimes not all it's cracked up to be. I mean, the man gave her a seat by the pool and some "allowance, which is ample" but obviously, anyone who goes by the name Bunny will not be satisfied with such passivity. Plus, does anyone even want to imagine a sex scene between Tara Reid and David Huddleston in a wheelchair? Let's get back to talking about real bunnies...
8) The White Rabbit from "Alice in Wonderland" (1951) - Forever ingrained in our hearts and minds, this rabbit's punctuality will never be forgotten, despite his occasional lack of manners - "I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date, no time to say hello, goodbye! I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!" The moral of the story is, if you are ever stuck in a bad trip complete with psychedelic caterpillars and living, breathing cards, always remember to be on time.
7) Trix Rabbit - Rule number one of cereal marketing: Only a goofy white rabbit can get kids to eat ultra-sweetened multicolored cereal that makes your milk look like a chemical dumpsite.
6) The rabbit from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" (1975) - Bunnies may act all cute and fluffy, but deep down inside they're really murderous little serial killers intent on only one thing: death. The bloodstained bunny from "The Holy Grail" should serve as a warning to the Tufts community and the entire world. If bunnies can bite through chain mail and rip open a guy's jugular, there's no telling what they'll do next.
5) Bugs Bunny - Bugs Bunny is no ordinary rabbit. He can talk, he has opposable thumbs, he walks upright, and he likes to cross-dress. Bugs always manages to outwit his rivals and enemies, except under very special circumstances, like when he tried to take the Easter Bunny's job and failed miserably. Though Bugs isn't great at distributing eggs, he knows how to turn a phrase: "What's up, doc?" 'Nuff said.
4) B-Rabbit - In 2002, Eminem played a trailer-trash white rapper from Detroit with the alias "B-Rabbit." If that name doesn't connote the hustle and straight-up gangsta aspects of street life, I don't know what does.
3) Peter Rabbit - Peter Rabbit taught all nice young children never to disobey your parents and go into other people's gardens - that is, unless you want to lose your jacket and shoes! If Peter isn't rabbit enough for you, there is also his entire extended family, Mrs. Rabbit, Flopsy, Mopsy and Cottontail, not to mention his cousin Benjamin. Childhood is just not complete without their adorable adventures captured in the beautiful illustrations and poetic words of Beatrix Potter.
2) "White Rabbit" by Jefferson Airplane - What happens when you mix an already-trippy children's story and a band that has ingested half of San Francisco's acid? Look no further than this song to find out.
1) That rabbit from "Donnie Darko" (2001) - In a very dark vision of the future, one can see a world where today's emo kids have grown up and replaced the Easter Bunny with "Donnie Darko"'s rabbit. Plastic eggs hidden through out the house will be replaced with ninth grade reading level treatises on existentialism and cheerful pastels will give way to unbearable blackness. Which only gives you another reason not to listen to emo.
-compiled by the Daily Arts staff
