On behalf of VOX, Tufts Voices for Choice, we would like to give Lara Levi some tips for her sex column, "Just the Tip." We're not sure if she realizes the extent to which her unproductive advice has affected men and women on this campus.
Disclaimer: This is not an angry rant. There are a lot of students, faculty and staff on this campus working very hard to promote a safe, healthy sexual culture here. We applaud open discussion on sex and how to have great sex lives. But this column does nothing but work against all these efforts.
First, the article sends a dangerous message about hooking up. There should be no pressure when bringing a guy back to your room. The "booty call" that you are in bed with will be okay if you just want to make out and cuddle tonight or if you don't want to swallow. We should promote either partner's freedom to take a "make-out session" to whatever level he/she is comfortable with without saying that only the brave ones give blowjobs.
Now on to the degrading assumptions the article makes. It implies that a woman's sexual worth depends on her ability to perform sex acts correctly. We all would love to improve our sex lives, but there's no right or wrong way. In fact, sexual experiences are intimate and private between the partners (no hetero-normative assumptions either), and whatever goes down is between them. No hard feelings if you don't do the twist.
It also sounds as if Leviis calling herself, and girls who enjoy giving blowjobs, sluts. We're not sure if she means to do that. When we read "we weren't slutty yet," we get the impression that if we give a good blowjob now it implies that we've practiced on a lot of "booty calls" and are now experienced, generous sluts.
Taking pleasure in giving pleasure is not "slutty." Giving pleasure often results in receiving pleasure, which brings us to our next point: When is this faceless man getting an amazing blowjob going to ask us what we would like, or how are we doing?
So now we're sluts, but later we're ladies. It's pretty old-fashioned to have barriers in the bedroom because we are concerned about how we have to "mind our manners" and be "polite." Shame on us for not dusting off our petticoats when we get off our knees to ask him for affirmation of our sexual worth. What revolution exactly are we supposed to start when all we can be is "polite" and servile to our "booty call?"
Finally, the sex columnist has a responsibility to the Tufts community to promote safe, healthy sex. If you're going to write a column addressing everyone, write with true purpose. Great oral sex tips would have been so much more constructive in the context of a healthy relationship or at least not a crude, anonymous "booty call." It's possible to write a witty, controversial column and still give healthy advice. Where is the conversation on using a condom? Where is the conversation on reciprocity? Where is the conversation?
VOX loves sex columns. VOX loves sex. VOX loves healthy sex and the columns that promote this culture at Tufts. This sex column has so much potential to be a positive tool on campus as well as entertaining. Please don't disappoint your peers again.
Nikki Bruce is a senior majoring in economics and the treasurer of VOX. Ashley Calhoun is a sophomore who has not yet declared a major and a co-president of VOX.
