Some young men dream of being Tom Brady. Others prefer LeBron James. Me? I want to be Takeru Kobayashi.
From the ages of 13 to 17, it would be fair to say that I was a bit obsessed with the concept of eating challenges. When I was in eighth grade, I shocked my family by eating eight pieces of pie and two cookies on top of a lobster dinner complete with corn, baked beans, pasta salad, a cheeseburger and clam chowder.
A year later, a friend and I each tackled "The Godzilla Burger" at Eagles Deli in Brookline. A pound of beef, a pound of fries, four pieces of cheese and a pickle later, we both achieved the ultimate honor: our pictures were placed on the wall.
From there, I set out to find another eating challenge worthy of my considerable prowess. I found it at Spike's during my junior year. Two of my friends and I each ate six hot dogs in an hour, completing the challenge. Even though my car got towed while we were eating ($110 is the most I ever plan to pay for six hot dogs), the Spike's T-shirt and my picture on the wall made it totally worth it.
So when I found that eating vast quantities of food is a paying gig, I knew I had discovered my heroes.
Every summer, thousands of spectators come to Coney Island for the Super Bowl of competitive eating: The Nathan's July 4 International Hot Dog Eating Contest. This year, American Joey "Jaws" Chestnut defeated the defending champion Kobayashi, widely acknowledged as the Tiger Woods of his sport.
In Kobayashi, we're talking about a 160-pound man (with less than 10 percent body fat) who can eat 83 vegetarian dumplings in eight minutes, 20 pounds of rice balls in 30 minutes, and 58 bratwursts in 10 minutes. Before his loss to Chestnut, his only loss in competitive eating came during the short-lived Man vs. Beast competition in 2003, where he lost to a 1,089-pound Kodiak bear. The bear ate 50 bunless hot dogs in three minutes.
Kobayashi only managed 31.
For five years, all Kobayashi had to do was show up at Nathan's to win. But when Chestnut broke out in 2006, eating 52 dogs to Kobayashi's 53.5 (then a new world record), Takeru finally had a challenger worthy of his respect. Bird had Magic, Bill Russell had Wilt Chamberlain - and Kobayashi had Chestnut.
When Chestnut ate 59 dogs in a qualifying match for Nathan's, shattering Kobayashi's world record, the stage was set for a legendary matchup at Coney Island. And to top it all off, Kobayashi announced just days before the competition that he had recently developed an arthritic jaw and could barely open his mouth. Still, he defended his title at Nathan's.
With thousands of American fans cheering him on, Chestnut went toe-to-toe with the champ - and he won. Both men shattered the record, and it may have been called a draw if Kobayashi hadn't vomited at the end (somehow, the judges managed to quantify the expulsion as three hot dogs to be deducted from Kobayashi's total).
I'll be honest with you: when the announcers declared this "the greatest moment in the history of sports," I almost agreed with them. After his victory, Chestnut was draped in an American flag, looking like Rocky after he took down Drago in Rocky IV.
When I look on ESPN.com, I see stories about the Patriots' videotape scandal, O.J. Simpson's armed robbery of his own merchandise, and how bad Notre Dame is this year. But frankly, I'm curious about something else.
How many pieces of pie are Kobayashi and Chestnut putting away these days?
