Dear Celtics fans,
The NBA season has arrived, and I've waited long enough to say this. As a lifelong Minnesotan, I need to rant about the summer of 2007.
For the first 10 years of my life, I idolized one man: Kirby Puckett. Then, in September of 1995, the Puck got beaned in the face by a Dennis Martinez fastball, developed glaucoma and was never the same. I lost him, and now I've lost my second idol, Kevin Garnett.
Now, I don't want to be impolite or mean - I do have the reputation of "Minnesota Nice" to uphold - but I've got to get this off my chest. In the last two years, my team has acquired ten of your players. Here's the disgusting list: Mark Blount, Ricky Davis, Marcus Banks, Justin Reed, Gerald Green, Ryan Gomes, Theo Ratliff, Sebastian Telfair, Al Jefferson and now Antoine Walker. What a bunch of garbage.
Mark Blount is the tallest shooting guard in the history of professional basketball. He shoots 17-footers better than most guards, but simply cannot rebound to save his life. Davis is a good scorer, but plays defense about as well as Dirk Nowitzki. Thankfully, they were both traded to the Heat for Walker - another former Celtic. Great.
Banks is being paid millions to sit on his rear end on the Suns' bench. Justin Reed ... who?
Gerald Green has pogo sticks for legs, but has the basketball IQ of a peanut. Ryan Gomes is a decent player on a horrible team - a role he'll continue to relish on the Wolves. Ratliff has a perpetual backache and is simply an expiring contract. Sebastian Telfair is in court more than he's on the court. Al Jefferson has the talent to be a good player, but he needs to vastly improve his mediocre defense if he wants to compete with other big men in the West.
And let's be perfectly honest, Minnesota GM Kevin McHale doesn't exactly have the best track record in developing big men. Remember Rasho Nesterovich? The Wolves had him for five God-awful seasons, and he was just as dreadful in the beginning as he was when he left. Remember Michael Olowokandi? McHale thought he could develop him, too.
The fact that Kevin McHale still has a job makes me wonder about owner Glen Taylor's sanity, considering McHale has literally made one good move in his tenure as GM. That move was drafting the skinny kid with the bright smile out of Farragut Academy in 1995.
Let me put this as gently as I can: Don't even think of KG as one of your own. Sure, he plays for your team, but he sure as hell didn't want to. Your GM needed to trade for three-point-shooting fossil Ray Allen to even pique Garnett's interest.
You didn't trick-or-treat at his house. I did. You didn't see him biking down Plymouth Road. I did. You didn't see his patented talcum powder clap each night. You didn't see him jump into the stands after a big victory. You didn't see his bright smile after wins and his tears after losses.
He's just part of a great trade for your team. He was the Minnesota Timberwolves for 12 seasons. He put my team on his broad shoulders with no help for 11 of them. It is absolutely inexcusable and beyond my comprehension how Kevin McHale failed to build around a future Hall of Famer.
KG called the days prior to the trade "the hardest 72 hours I've dealt with since I've been in the NBA." It wasn't any easier for Wolves fans. And it won't be easy seeing him play in Celtic green.
Ross Marrinson is a senior majoring in international relations. He can be reached at ross.marrinson@tufts.edu.
