As much as it pains me to say this, the New York Knicks need to return to prominence immediately.
Yes, they are the division rivals of my Celtics, who just last night, handed the Knicks their 10th loss of the season, landing them in the Atlantic Division cellar. However, the NBA is simply more entertaining when the Knicks, one of the league's most storied franchises, are a contender. New York is the mecca of basketball, but it's just not the same without the Knicks.
But fear not, New York, I have a solution for you.
Just implode your entire roster.
The Knicks have spent the last five years acquiring the biggest group of overrated, overpaid, underachieving malcontents the NBA has ever seen.
Stephon Marbury's salary alone exceeds $20 million. The self-proclaimed "best guard in the NBA" has never played for a winner, and his best contribution of late has been his affordable footwear. At this point, Starbury is at best a sound role player on a good team. Do you really want a player who showed up high out of his mind to an offseason interview (check the YouTube.com clip - nine minutes of unadulterated hilarity) as your leader?
The Knicks have also invested a total of $13 million in reserve forwards Malik Rose and Jared Jeffries, who are averaging nine and 14 minutes, respectively. And $6 million a year goes to Jerome James, the single biggest waste of space in the NBA.
The Knicks certainly have talent, but poor transactions have left the team in a financial hole and populated by players who earned huge contracts by putting up big numbers for poor teams.
Apparently, the Knicks brass failed to entertain the idea that perhaps the gaudy statistics of their prized free agent signings came at the expense of winning. Jamal Crawford, Eddy Curry, Zach Randolph - who has the largest discrepancy between muscle-definition and production in basketball history - and Quentin Richardson never played for a winner and never will as long as they are on the Knicks.
Get rid of all of 'em. Eat their contracts, as much as it may thin James Dolan's fat pockets. Luxury tax be damned.
But the biggest problem with the Knicks isn't on the court - it's on the bench. If Isiah Thomas isn't the worst coach in the NBA, then Brian Scalabrine is LeBron James' athletic equivalent. As good a player as Isiah was, that's how bad of a coach he is. Remember, this is a man who single-handedly ran the entire CBA into the ground. Isaiah sets a poor example for his young players (sexual harassment anyone?), has failed to utilize the talent at his disposal, and is a lethargic in-game coach.
If somehow looking mildly satisfied and sitting motionless on the bench while his team is getting spanked by 25 is the hallmark of a great coach, then Thomas should be mentioned in the same breath as Wooden and Auerbach. The last time I checked, great coaching was determined by wins, which have been few and far between for these Knicks. Answer: Take a walk, Zeke.
The Knicks can take solace in their recent productive drafts, which have yielded hardworking and athletic players David Lee, Renaldo Balkman and Nate Robinson, all of whom the Knicks should re-sign.
Trade the big names to various contenders for future draft picks and "glue guys." Start over fresh. It's going be an arduous process, but it's possible.
So Knicks, follow my formula, and maybe you'll have a return to glory like my Celtics. Too bad it didn't happen last night.
Danny Joseph is a sophomore majoring in English. He can be reached at Daniel.Joseph@tufts.edu.
