Welcome back to the jungle.
As the thought of Red Sox, Patriots and possible Celtics championships all in the same year rings annoyingly loudly in my head, I am once again forced to realize how far my beloved state's teams are from such glory. Being a Minnesota sports fan literally puts enough piss and vinegar in my veins to render me certifiably acidic for the next decade, but let's just concentrate on the last month.
The Twins have had an eventful past month. As predicted, Torii Hunter and meatballer Carlos Silva signed with the Angels and Mariners, respectively, and both were vastly overpaid. New GM Bill Smith, in relatively unprecedented fashion, swapped prospect for prospect in trading Matt Garza and Jason Bartlett to the Rays for Delmon Young, a great trade in my view as Young is seen as a potential five-tool superstar. Unfortunately, the Twins' main goal for the offseason - trading Johan Santana - has not yet happened. Naturally.
I never understood the hesitance of the Red Sox and Yankees to give up prospects for the single best pitcher of his generation, but apparently now my confusion won't matter. In recent weeks, Smith and Mets GM Omar Minaya have gotten cozier, and it looks like Johan will be heading east within the next two weeks.
The key to the deal is 19-year-old super-prospect Fernando Martinez, who the Mets claim is almost untouchable. Omar, you can't have it all. Reyes is untouchable, fine. Wright, fine. But this is the best pitcher in the game! Do you really think Livan Hernandez or Kyle Lohse is the answer?
Mr. Minaya, the Mets need Johan. You know it. The Twins know it. And the Twins know it would be absolutely moronic to accept any deal without Martinez. Let's get it done.
The Vikings did what they always do: Start the season horribly, almost forcing me to give up on them for another year. Then, as everyone had pleaded with him to do, coaching genius Brad Childress finally gave the starting nod to a former Sooner - Adrian Peterson. Purple Jesus then led the team to six wins in seven weeks, giving legitimate playoff hope to Vikings fans everywhere - even giving the team a chance to lock up a playoff berth at home against the Todd Collins-led Redskins.
Long story short, in his fourth start in over 10 years, Collins tore the Vikings' secondary to pieces. It took Tarvaris Jackson's best half as a pro to even make it respectable. Safety Dwight Smith couldn't cover Chris Cooley to save his life. Cited for misdemeanor marijuana possession the week before, Smith played like he was still high during the game. The loss gave the Redskins control of their own destiny, and like any decent team, they took advantage, beating the Cowboys in Week 17 to make the playoffs.
The Minnesota Timberwolves. What an absolutely miserable club. On Jan. 8, GM extraordinaire Kevin McHale admitted that he may have assembled too young a team. Really? Thanks for the honesty, sir. McHale continues to claim, however, that he still likes the team's core group of young guys and promises a strong end to the season.
How delusional is this guy? Exactly who does he like? I'm convinced there are two players on the current roster who would average more than 20 minutes per game on a decent team: Al Jefferson and Randy Foye. That's it.
It could be argued that the Wolves are playing better of late, but that's really because they couldn't have been any worse.
For my own sanity, I can only hope that within the next decade, being a Minnesota sports fan won't be as unbelievably irritating as it is now.
Ross Marrinson is a senior majoring in international relations. He can be reached at ross.marrinson@tufts.edu.
