Peter: I saw an ad on TV the other day.
A woman is standing in her living room, and her boyfriend comes in with her cute little dog with a pink bow in its hair.
She smiles at him and says, "Awww, you gave Fufi a bath! But I thought you wanted to watch the game?" The boyfriend responds, "Oh, honey, it's just a game." Then the voiceover guy comes on and says something like "Not that kind of guy? Good thing you can make it up to her and get her something at *insert diamond store here*!"
And people wonder why the divorce rate in the United States is so high. Why be the kind of person who would make a small sacrifice for his significant other? Instead, buy her off with a useless luxury item. Then the executive from DeBeers can get his new Porsche! God forbid you actually spend 10 or even 20 minutes actually thinking about getting her something slightly more modest or thoughtful that she might enjoy or use.
It seems to me that Valentine's Day is more a day of romantic penance than celebration. The more neglectful you've been, the more you have to make it up with the perfect gift. If the relationship were good, why would you need to spend a boatload of money on anything? Spend the difference on some all-American products and let good ol' trickle-down economics go to work.
Quality time and something personal should be enough for your Valentine. I know what everyone's saying: "I have to do something extra special and expensive and awesome and perfect." No, you don't. Really.
Well, maybe you do. But you shouldn't have to. I wouldn't. Maybe that's why the only Valentine I got this year was from Grandma.
Sudeep: Love is complicated. Affection is a chore. Feelings are not easily reflected in action. That's why we have Valentine's Day. Now men all over the world can quantify their emotions into a dollar amount. You don't need to worry about fostering a connection, sharing secrets or even spending time with your loved one. Just buy her a diamond, and she will know that you really care.
But you say that this is perverted. You say that this is not natural. Perhaps you are worried about money replacing so-called "true" human wants. You silly romantic. It is easier for everyone to avoid inane issues like love. Who needs love when you can have a box of candy, gift wrapped, with a special discount on the Hallmark card? It's cheap. It's efficient. Modern man has no need for sentiments. It is best if advertisements can redirect him towards simpler things.
And it's not like this is a recent phenomenon. Men have been buying affection - i.e. sex - for millennia. Socio-biologists show that it was evolutionarily beneficial for early men to spend their "wealth" (in most cases raw meat) on the opportunity to mate. Anthropologists have discovered hunter-gatherer tribes where women exchange sexual favors for food. Buying candy on Valentine's Day, it seems, is just an extension of man's already materialistic and gluttonous nature.
Still not satisfied? You may talk about injustice. You may say that poor people are worse off on this holiday because they can't afford the opulence that everyone has come to expect. Well, my dear friend, Valentine's Day helps the poor. America is currently entering a recession. Jobs will be cut. Investment will plummet. Feb. 14 comes with an almost $20 billion boost in retail sales. Think about all the workers you fed! Think about the economy!
Sudeep Bhatia is a junior majoring in philosophy; Peter Radosevich is a junior majoring in political science. They can be reached at Sudeep.Bhatia@tufts.edu and Peter.Radosevich@tufts.edu, respectively.
