Love doesn't always work out the way we'd like. Half the songs ever written in the history of popular music prove this point. But if you're one of the less fortunate souls this Valentine's Day, instead of locking yourself in your room, eating several pints of Ben and Jerry's, and putting Death Cab for Cutie on repeat, just keep in mind the fact that there's always someone out there who is worse off than you. So, in honor of Valentine's Day, we present our top 10 tales of star-crossed romance, just depressing enough to brighten up your day.
10. Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen:
Though heroin played a major role in the couple's subsequent deaths, the two met their ends with very different levels of punk rock-ness. Nancy bled to death from a knife wound, and Sid later died of an overdose in the arms of his new girlfriend. Come on, Sid, or should I say, John Simon Ritchie. Not so vicious now, are you?
9. John Lennon and Yoko Ono: What could be sadder than finally stealing your soulmate away from his band, only to have him be shot in front of your home? It doesn't seem like Ono minded riding in the wake of Lennon's popularity. And that, some would say, is the real tragedy here.
8. Rose and Jack:
The love story from that obscure 1997 film "Titanic" is a classic example of why everyone should go on a cruise at least once. You just might meet a beautiful aristocratic girl, draw her naked, and then die. Wait, that doesn't sound fun at all...
7. Harold and Maude:
Let's face it: The fact that these two both attend funerals for kicks is a clear indication that their relationship is doomed from the start. And talk about star-crossed! Maude may be a spunky senior citizen, but we're still a little shocked that she hooked up with young, super-awkward Harold. And did he really think that dating a dying old woman was going to end well?
6. Mario and Princess Peach:
I'm sorry, Mario, but our princess is in another castle!
5. Romeo and Juliet:
Obviously, Shakespeare had a thing for doomed lovers. Antony and Cleopatra, Othello and Desdemona, and Romeo and Juliet all manage to die in painfully creative ways (think snakebites and suffocation), never enjoying a "happily ever after." Moral of the story: Even if your relationship is hopelessly troubled or the product of stupidity and ignorance, the world will still love you if you die in an interesting way.
4. Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala:
The age difference between these two immediately puts them at a high risk of breaking up. Add into the mix that Jedi Knights aren't supposed to love, and you have a recipe for disaster. On second thought, it almost makes sense; most people would rather be dead than married to a whiny Hayden Christensen.
3. Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love:
The only thing that could possibly make a brooding Kurt Cobain more depressed would most certainly be a marriage to a talentless "Hole" of a lead singer named Courtney Love.
2. Jack Twist and Ennis Del Mar:
After one explosive summer in the mountains of Wyoming, these two cowboys continue their tortured love affair for almost 20 years afterward. Jack is eventually killed for being gay, leaving Ennis alone in a dirty trailer with only a shirt to remember his lover by. Oh, and now Heath Ledger's dead. Happy Valentine's Day!
1. Bill and the Bride:
Sure, she got knocked up and tried to escape her marriage, and yeah, he shot her several times at the wedding. The best part about a star-crossed relationship between two cold-blooded assassins is that they are able to skip past all the drama. So what if Bill was the father? He's still going to kill you.
