Everyone enjoys making lists.
Many people seem to feel that there is no greater pleasure in this world than compiling exhaustive lists of their favorite things — favorite songs, restaurants, Bath & Body Works scents, etc. — and sharing those with their 600 closest Facebook friends, 99 percent of whom couldn't care less.
I do it too, and while I don't necessarily want everyone to be aware of my affinity for cucumber melon hand lotion, I can see how having a few select people in the know would come in handy during the holiday season.
However, I have grown increasingly weary of the lists that include the word "favorite," particularly ones having to do with music. After all, if the Tufts population hasn't yet proved that Guster and Ben Folds Five are the greatest bands the world has ever known, then they're probably not going to.
What does fascinate me, though, are the "hate" lists. I am especially intrigued by the simple question: "Who are the five people you hate most?" The diversity of responses as a whole is overwhelming, but almost every list that I have seen includes at least one professional athlete.
Now that's something I can relate to.
Having suffered through the cheap-shot tactics and arrogant smile of Hines Ward for the past 11 years, I can safely say that if someone has to be run over by a bus while crossing the street, I hope it's him.
Ward has been on the top of my "hate" list for some time now, but the rest of it changes with time. For example, I used to hate Tony Romo, but that was back when he was dating Carrie Underwood. Now that she has come to her senses and dumped him, I can reserve some of my Romo hatred for that no-name hockey player she's been seeing.
Since I arrived at Tufts, however, certain staples of Boston sports life have come to dominate the list. The mere sight of Kevin Youkilis makes me want to return my lunch to the bottom of a toilet bowl. And Dustin Pedroia, who exudes obnoxiousness from every pore and who must be one of the world's highest-prolife sufferers of Short Man Syndrome, has a similar effect on me.
As far as the Patriots are concerned, it's easy enough to despise people like Bill Belichick and Vince Wilfork, and I never had a hard time rousing up some well-deserved anger for Rodney Harrison. It also made me sick to listen to analysts gush over Belichick's ingenious use of defensive players on offense, and vice-versa, when all that really amounted to was playing Troy Brown at cornerback out of necessity and throwing one-yard touchdown passes to linebacker Mike Vrabel on every goal-line possession.
But try as I might, I have never been able to truly hate Tom Brady. He is everything the media says he is and then some, and even if he gets a little pouty on the sidelines, he is usually nothing but humble and gracious during his interviews.
But I, like most sports fans I know, am very passionate about this whole hate thing — it is, after all, a lot of work — and I would like to add Brady to the collection. Given the way I feel about the Patriots as a whole, and given that my New England friends are arrogant enough to expect that Brady will simply walk across the Atlantic when the Pats play the Tampa Bay Buccaneers at London's Wembley Stadium in October, I feel as though I should hate him.
I just can't.
Even though his classless performance during his "interview" with Suzy Kolber at the end of this season's first Monday Night Football game gives me some hope, it seems as though my own version of what I consider to be the most intriguing list that a person can compile — the all-important "most-hated people" list — will remain incomplete.
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Rory Parks is a senior double-majoring in international relations and Spanish. He can be reached at Rory.Parks@tufts.edu
