I've received mixed reviews about my last article not because it addressed a delicate subject but because I mentioned my large nipples. My friends have approached me in the past week and tried to reassure me that they're totally normal. And even though I still see budding breasts on my chest, I appreciate the support. But it got me thinking about another aspect of self-image that guys never have to deal with: boobs.
Whenever I mention the subject to my girl friends, someone will inevitably ask, "Why are guys so obsessed with boobs?" I try to answer honestly. To me, it's a Freudian thing. There's something exciting and oddly comforting about breasts. They're something men don't have and, like children, we enjoy exploring the unknown. And they're fun.
One friend recently told me, "I think girls think more about them than guys do." I found that hard to believe. But then I decided to look into it.
I don't mean to harp on the media affecting our perceptions of real life, but there's a very clear message from television and advertisements: Big boobs are better. It's another example of those false ideals we all buy into. It explains why so many women claim to "need" breast enlargement surgery. It's purely psychological, and the mainstream media reinforces it.
I was inspired to investigate this topic by a close friend who recently decided to undergo breast reduction surgery. Most people shudder at the thought of going through surgery and consider it ludicrous to choose to trade in big boobs, but my friend was overjoyed at the prospect of having smaller breasts. In fact, she's never looked happier.
In my extensive research for this column, I've asked many of my girl friends, housemates and others the all-important question: "Do you like your boobs?" And the resounding answer is, "Most of the time." This led me to ask more questions, sometimes uncomfortably, about the daily issues women have with their breasts.
There's the touchy subject of sensitivity. I remember one friend equating the sensitivity of her breasts to that of a man's testicles. That worried me, especially because I'm such a huge believer in the bear hug. But I've hugged girls who squeeze tighter than I do, and others who prefer a gentler, softer embrace.
Also, I've heard from others that their boobs swell up and become hypersensitive during their period. This was news to me. And I don't think it's because I'm blissfully ignorant. Guys don't think about this kind of stuff, and girls don't usually tell us about it.
Most girls complain that guys only look at their cleavage. That was one of the reasons my friend decided to get reduction surgery. Aside from the back pain, she just didn't feel respected when a guy made sparse eye contact.
I decided a long time ago that you show respect to anyone, male or female, by looking at their face when talking to them. Why must us guys insist on sneaking a peek? It's a move that someone will catch sooner or later, no matter how stealthy you are about it. Then again, glancing at a girl's boobs can be involuntary, especially if she shows them off.
Some girls use their boobs to score free drinks; others try to hide them; some lament their smallness and others truly don't think twice about their size. There's a whole world us guys aren't privy to, even though we think we get it. The best we can do with this information is respect our girl friends and know that our actions and our comments might do more than we think.
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Griffin Pepper is a senior majoring in political science. He can be reached at Griffin.Pepper@tufts.edu.
