I always thought that the "turkey drop" phenomenon only applied to freshmen who broke up with their high school sweethearts at home over the holidays. So imagine my surprise when my boyfriend let it drop that he just wasn't feeling the spark anymore, only hours before I left to go home for Thanksgiving.
I admit, it was my first real breakup. Moments after he left, I collapsed in a chair at the mercy of my more relationship-experienced housemates and let them convince me that my former boyfriend was "immature" and "had communication problems." A typical chick flick scene.
At first, I wasn't sure if the break from school was better or worse for the situation — was it better to have a lot of time and fewer responsibilities while I mulled things over, or would normal school distractions have prevented me from dwelling on it?
Despite being someone who was never really "a relationship person," I started to feel really comfortable coming back to the same guy at the end of the night. Even for someone who likes being single, I wasn't looking forward to the prospect of agonizing over crushes' text messages and enduring the occasional awkward first date.
But as it turned out, going home for Thanksgiving was just what I needed to put my moping into perspective. I would never make the mistake of trying to give out breakup advice after my first pseudo-serious relationship, but I learned a little through my "coping" strategies over the past few days.
Let's just say that my Thanksgiving break involved many bottles of wine and tipsy relationship chats with anyone who made the mistake of sitting too close.
I had a long discussion with my childhood best friend about her recently broken-up long-term relationship, and her mom told me about when her husband had moved out. I talked to my parents about my aunt's divorce and listened to my grandma describe my 80-something-year-old Aunt Betty's single life after she got tired of her (even older) boyfriend.
Hearing everyone else's stories didn't make me miss my ex-boyfriend's endearing piano sing-alongs or our quirky, late night, lying-in-bed conversations any less. Nor did it quell my silent hopes every time my phone rang that it'd be him calling to confess his mistake. And it certainly didn't make me feel any less awful that a guy I like … no longer likes me.
But seriously, I thought I was going to have a hard time bouncing back into single life after a comparatively short relationship? What about my best friend who had been dating her boyfriend for over two years and had all but moved in with him? What about my aunt who had been married for over 20 years with four kids and now has to adjust to an empty house and trying to date again?
And if my Aunt Betty wasn't afraid to get back out there, who am I to get anxious about being single again?
In my first column back in September, I pointed out that my mother always said that college is the one place with so many other single, attractive, similar-aged people all in one spot. College is more or less the best place to date and be single.
Senior Holiday Club Night is right around the corner, and I think I'll convince my housemates that we need some serious mistletoe decorations to add a little excitement to final exam study parties.
Although I'm a break-up newbie, the one thing I can say is that venting to everyone you know can make you feel a bit better. Just kidding, the Tufts Daily audience is probably enough. But housemates, old friends and family can give a little perspective and some wonderful cheering up to get back out there.
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Emily Maretsky is a senior majoring in engineering psychology. She can be reached at Emily.Maretsky@tufts.edu.
