This semester was unlike any other semester I've experienced at Tufts. I did research for professors, I only took three classes, I applied to jobs and thought about my life after college. I began my first real, serious college relationship and I lived off campus with some good friends. In my eyes, everything went well.
Sure, every now and then there was a hiccup — breakups, awkward hookups and the other ups (and downs) that characterize college life. But all things considered, living in a house with eight women was a lot easier than most other people expected it to be.
So this last column will turn the tables on my usual perspective. I went around the house and asked my housemates, "Did you like living with a boy?" All of them said yes, but I couldn't take them seriously, especially because they knew that I would print their answers in this column. So I also asked them, "Did you learn anything about the opposite sex?"
One housemate said that boys — namely, me — seemed to be apathetic about house chores. No surprise there. Cleanliness may be next to godliness, but for me, sleep comes before godliness. The kitchen can wait.
Another housemate recently came out of the closet, so she wryly responded, "Well, it kind of reinforced my attraction to girls." Glad I could be of service.
She went on to say girls could be catty, especially with practical issues. Emotions get in the way of simple responsibilities, like chores. This happened a few times in our house. The girls started to play the blame game rather than take action. This housemate saw guys as more solution-oriented.
Yet another housemate told me that I was out of the house so much, it felt as though I didn't live there in the first place.
Some offered some serious feedback. Nearly everyone I asked expressed her relief that there was at least one boy in the house. In the same way that I got a girl's perspective on everyday issues, the girls were privy to my thoughts on life.
One of the girls lived in a house with guys last year. "I feel like I get the girl-friendly version when guys talk about women," she said. "But living with guys, I was able to hear what they say about women and what they do. There were some discrepancies."
She referred to a guy last year that wanted more commitment from a romantic interest but nonetheless hooked up with different girls nightly.
I think we can take away a valuable lesson from this: Sometimes guys talk the talk but don't walk the walk. Be serious with girls, and don't treat them like idiots. If you're interested in something more, show them.
Another girl friend of mine who lives in a co-ed house said that when the guys left town for a weekend, the mood in the house changed dramatically. "I mean, it was definitely cleaner," she said. "But you could feel a different vibe. The guys stabilized our house."
My housemates seemed to agree. They liked having a guy around to de-stress with, because, frankly, girlfriends would often add to the stress load. There was a general consensus that guys were levelheaded when it came to practical issues.
In the end, cross-gender relationships are important if one is to fully understand how people operate. There are problems each gender has to deal with that the other gender has absolutely no knowledge about. Diversity makes us all smarter, and there's no better place than college to learn about other people's experiences.
Guys: Talk to girls.
Girls: Talk to guys.
You'll learn something new, and you'll be better for it.
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Griffin Pepper is a senior majoring in political science. He can be reached at Griffin.Pepper@Tufts.edu.
