Last semester, we wrote a column about soup. Some found it funny, others found it cringey and some of you downright despised it. We felt all three. And so of course, we're going to do it again.
Now for those of you who are new, here's the spiel: this is a column about good soup. That is, Adam Driver in a diner saying "good soup" good soup. After a long, hot, steamy summer, we've decided to make our return, but we still have a lot of questions about how to proceed. Should we make a change? Diversify our pallets? Should we scrap soup entirely? Abowlish it?
No, we mustn't. One or two of you will find this funny (assuming anyone reads this).
Anyways, time for a new introduction. Unfortunately, our dear, gorgeous soup slurper Sadie is spending her semester across the pond in England. No need to fret, however, because Ellie is still on the premises, and she's joined by semi-funny male and guest star of ‘French onion underwater,’ Cole.
Ever since our time in the depths of the Foundry, Cole has dreamed of becoming a souper. We found him, lost and helpless, in a creative writing class. We spent all spring teaching him the secrets of good soup, training him well. There were mishaps. An instance in which he mistook stew for soup. He also can't eat nuts, which means we'll have to be careful about the liquids we consume. But we're ready.
Now for tonight's soup: it was garden vegetable and we must admit it came from a jar. Like it was not very good. But that's okay, because this is just as much a column about liking good things as it is about disliking not good things. It's okay to not like things. Like that one friend from freshman year or having to be happy for people on LinkedIn (let's all just admit that we're not). If you care to know, the soup tasted like tomatoes and the garlic salt that Ellie poured too much of. It has veggies, which is a bit of a relief because Ellie feels like she's flirting with scurvy. Cole was a little confused at first, but he still went back for round 2 (as he tends to do, mostly out of desperation, but sometimes out of curiosity). It seems that there are better things to buy at Trader Joe's.
We rate this soup three spoons, which also happens to be the amount of time it took to prepare. We're literally never going to explain what a spoon means. Hopefully you're confused. We know we are.
Anyways, keep your heads down and slurp. Ta ta!