News
September 16
For those of you who have spent the past three months worrying over what will happen to Buffy, fear not _ the new season begins next Tuesday. Along with this classic that is a favorite to dorks who waste their college time inside watching TV, a wealth of new programs with recycled plot lines premiere in the next two weeks.
Sunday
American Dreams (premieres Sept. 29): Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, shame on you. This rehashing of the "turbulent 60s" seems oddly reminiscent of the sentimental piece of dreck many have come to hate, Forrest Gump. Sure, Forrest telling President Kennedy "I gotta pee" was cool. But, please, try to keep some semblance of respect and dignity for the audience.
The produces of Dreams have also thought up of some "cool" effects of their own, by splicing scenes from the real American Bandstand into the show. For those of who you haven't watched an hour of NBC in the past three months, American Dreams follows what the NBC Publicity Department calls "one family's journey through the times that changed out nation." Blech.
Boomtown(premieres Sept. 29): The show centers around the same premise as the program that comes before it, Dick Wolf's, Law & Order: Criminal Intent, so it will be interesting to see how this new crime drama fares. Both deal with one brutal crime scene from different angles, yet there is one crucial difference: in Boomtown, the culprit is not revealed until the final few moments whereas in Law & Order, the perp is revealed in the opening segment.
Cheers go to the addition of talented actor Mykelti Williamson, but huge jeers go the casting of former New Kid on the Block Donnie Wahlberg. These boys should never be given a chance to redeem themselves. The verdict is still out on this one.
The Grubbs (premieres Nov. 3): There seems to be a general theme going on so far in the new shows for this fall; repetition. See if this premise rings a bell: Two parents are proudly raising a vulgar and stupid family, except their young teenage son, whose first name begins with an M, wants to live a model life of maturity and intelligence. Wait, his name isn't Malcolm, its Mitch. And who better to play the older stupid father than Randy Quaid, master of stupid roles from Kingpin to Independence Days. Expect The Grubbs to be evicted by December.
Alias (returns on Sept. 29): The theme song for this year's season might as well be "We Are Family", as daughter Sydney (Jennifer Garner), father Jack (Victor Garber), and her mother (Lena Olin) joins in as a family of secret, double agents. Here's one who's hoping for more wigs, more ass-kicking action from Garner, and more twists and turns to keep this season as good as the last.
The Simpsons(returns on Nov. 10): fourteen seasons and still kickin,' the Simpsons will come back after the World Series with a star-studded episode with Homer going to Rock and Roll Fantasy camp. Additional episodes feature the return of Sideshow Bob... again... and the engagement of Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner, and a big 300th episode special. As Burns would say, "Excellent."
Monday
Monday Night Football (already in progress): MNF looks to have its best season in years, as the pairing of Al Michaels and football legend John Madden team up to provide the color commentary and play-by-play, respectively. ABCSports finally realized that is helps to have commentators who actually know something about football, as opposed to being adept at spewing out random allusions (meaning Dennis "Hey babe, my HBO show got cancelled" Miller). In addition, MNF has many great matchups for the next few months, including a rematch of last years NFC Championship game between the Chicago Bears and the St. Louis Rams. The local favorites, the Patriots, also make a repeat performance against the Tennessee Titans in mid-December. Are you ready for some football? I am.
Tuesday
In-Laws (Sept. 24): As a continuance of this season's theme of repetition, NBC brings you the TV version of Meet the Parents. For some odd reason, a newlywed couple decides to live with the bride's parents. Father doesn't like new son-in-law. Hilarity ensues. Show gets cancelled.
8 Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughter(premieres Sept. 17): Turn on Nick at Nite or TVLand every so often, and you may see good ol' Jack Tripper (John Ritter) falling over himself in front of Mr. Roeper and the girls. Well, Ritter returns as a sarcastic, angst-ridden father trying to deal with his two adolescent daughters. Seems funny enough for me, and Ritter needs the work.
24 (returns Oct. 29): The best network drama on television last year returns a year later to find CTU Agent Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) estranged from his daughter (Elisha Cuthbert) when he is called in by President David Palmer. Despite the recent divorce, the president's former wife, the deliciously evil Sherri Palmer, comes back to wreak even more havoc. Hopefully, we'll find out who Nina is working for, why she killed Terri. If you have no idea what I am talking about, watch this season, it is more addictive than nicotine.
Hidden Hills (premieres Sept. 24): Is your life funny? Well don't worry, because this new show from NBC is "your life, only funnier." My life is funny enough as is, thank you very much. I'll pass.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (returns Sept. 24): I don't like it, and I don't watch it, but if I don't mention this show, my friends will disown me. Especially because it may be the last season of Sarah Michelle Gellar as the titular character. Anyone know what Kristy Swanson is up to? How about Luke Perry?
Wednesday
West Wing (returns Sept. 25): The biggest surprise of this upcoming season is "Will President Bartlet (Martin Sheen) win the election?" Of course he will, but the most anticipated moment of this year will be the departure of Rob Lowe's character from the show. Lily Tomlin also joins the show as the new secretary to the president, which hopefully can bring some new life into the show after last season's disappointing lack of structure.
Amazing Race (returns Oct. 2): The best reality TV-series had gotten little recognition in its first two incarnations, but hopefully this year will break the trend. Host Phil Keoghan returns with 12 two-man teams all vying to win a race around the world. No Team Guido this time around, but the couple to watch is a conservative dad and his gay son, as well as the sister and best friend of a Sept. 11 victim.
Cedric the Entertainer Presents (premieres Sept. 18): Despite the fact that prime-time variety shows have failed in recent years (The Wayne Brady Show comes to mind) one of the funniest black comedians is trying his hand at it. Here's hope for the best, as network TV could use a little push to mirror the diversity of the real world.
Thursday
Friends (returns Sept. 26): The inevitable pairing off of all the cast members is finally falling into place this year, which in all likelihood will be the last season. With Chandler and Monica married (baby on the way?), and Joey/Ross proposing to Rachel, Phoebe will probably get the leftover, and all will end in happiness. Why can't real life be this predictable?
Scrubs (returns Sept. 26): All of the hilarious ensemble of the greatest new comedy return, with The Janitor becoming a full time cast member. From the heartless chief of staff Dr. Kelso to the obsessively stubborn Eliot, the cast of Scrubs hopes to avoid the deadly sophomore slump and suffer a rating setback. Although, they'd have to hit rock bottom in order to fail in the cushiest time slot of the year, sandwiched between Friends and Will & Grace.
Survivor (returns Sept. 19): This is the fifth time we've seen 16 backstabbing, nasty, vicious snakes (or are they rats?) go at each other. They return to the South Pacific, Thailand to be specific. Not much else to elaborate on here _ it's kind of self-explanatory what will happen. But as long as someone's watching it, it will remain on the air.
Good Morning Miami (premieres Sept. 26): The plot of this hackneyed, thrown-together series reads like a horrible chick flick. Guy chooses job because he falls in love with Girl. Throw in a dash of token kooky characters. Mix, bake at 350 for twenty minutes, let cool, and watch the profits come in. However, with a lead-in like Will & Grace, this recipe may just turn out to be a masterpiece.
Friday
That was Then(premieres Sept. 27): A neat idea that hopefully won't go wrong, That was Then tells the story of Travis, an adult who goes back to the '80s to redo his life. We've all wished that we could relive those special moments, prevent the embarrassing ones, and create new ones where opportunities were lost. Cool concept, but the Friday night timeslot is not promising.
Firefly (premieres Sept. 20): From the brain of Joss Whedon, creator of the aforementioned Buffy, comes this new, quirky-space-western-dramedy. Too odd to even attempt to describe, Firefly seems like The Fifth Element gone wrong (and without Bruce Willis). The stupidity of the trailers never ceases to amaze me. I don't often wish harm upon others, but I hope this show fails.
>Saturday
There is no good TV on Saturday nights. Cops is still the number one show on Saturday nights. Go out. Party. Watch a movie or two. Just don't watch TV. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Cable
Real World: The umpteenth incarnation of the MTV all-too-reality series goes to Sin City. Can you imagine the Unintentional Comedy Potential of watching these obsessive-compulsive, nutty, catty, and eccentric personalities in LAS VEGAS? The city with no morals, no sense of right or wrong? Mind-boggling.
The Ozbournes: As one of the few uninitiated into the cult icon that has become Ozzy Ozbourne, I can't really comment on what to look forward to _ other than, of course, "SHARON!"
The Sopranos: This is for those readers lucky enough to subscribe to HBO. Enjoy the fourth and penultimate season of television's greatest show. According to creator David Chase, this year will concentrate more on the marriage of Tony and Carmela, but that doesn't mean his other family will be ignored. Will Paulie defect to the New York families? Will the FBI get their indictments to stick? For the rest of us basic cable, all I gotta say is, I love Kazaa.
Curb Your Enthusiasm: Finally recognized by the entertainment community, Curb Your Enthusiasm was nominated for its first Emmy award this summer. Straight from the mind of Larry David, co-creator of Seinfeld, his half biography/half hilarity show is what Seinfeld dreamed to be in its glory seasons. Once again, I must praise the high-speed internet connection and Kazaa. Nothing can curb my enthusiasm for this show