Q: Dear Dr. K,
This guy I've been seeing has been trying to get me to pose naked for some x-rated naughty pictures that he wants to take of me in various positions. At first the idea seemed really weird and freaked me out, but now I'm starting to think it might be fun. Is it weird that I am ok with this? I'm just afraid of the pictures winding up in someone else's hands or, God forbid, on the Internet. Is this something I should do? -potential playmateA: Before you let this guy pop his extra large lens out, there are a few things to consider. First of all, how long have you been seeing this guy? It's one thing if you've been dating for several months and feel comfortable enough to get this intimate with him. It's an entirely different matter if this is someone you've casually gone out with a few times, because you probably don't know him well enough to decide if he is genuinely sexually daring or just some perverted peeping tom who is using you to get some free porno to show off to his best male friends.
I would be hesitant to get into some rather compromising positions in front of the camera if you don't know this guy very well. Have you spent a lot of time together? More importantly, do you trust him? Taking pictures of a lover in the buff can be an incredibly erotic and sexy way to gain even more intimacy, and can bring two people closer together. They can be great to look at when you are apart, and when you need a reminder as to just how attracted you are to your boyfriend/girlfriend. However, keep in mind that once the pictures are taken, your naked self is permanently stored on film and now belongs to the guy. If he is a total sleaze, you may really regret ever agreeing to posing when your mom calls you crying and screaming because next-door neighbor Mrs. Smith's son Johnny was caught showing the entire seventh grade class pictures of you, nude, doing some very X-rated things on camera one afternoon after school on some random Internet porno site.
Also, you are definitely not weird for getting excited about the idea of posing for these pictures. Everybody has different ideas of what is sexy, and different things turn different people on. It is totally normal to get hot over the idea of stripping down and letting your inhibitions float away. Again, I fully encourage you to go for it if and only if this is something you will not regret. Don't commit to posing unless you are aware of all possible consequences. Which, of course, includes the possibility of your nudie pics being on display for seventh graders across the world. Lovely thought, isn't it?
Q: Hey Dr K.,
It's been two years since I failed the second midterm in Bio 14, dropped the class and never looked back. I've been much happier as a child development major. The only problem is: my parents don't know! My mom still starts e-mails to me with "Dr. Daughter." They'd be so disappointed if they find out that I'm not on the path that they want. They've even said before that they won't pay for school unless I'm pre-med! What should I do? How am I going to tell them that I hate medicine?! -bound for disgraceA: How's this:
"Dear Mom and Dad, I hate medicine. Completely, utterly, with every living cell inside of my body, I hate medicine. I have tried my hardest to learn the course material. I have attempted to have fun with it, find it interesting, given it my all, but I still hate medicine. I will be completely miserable for the rest of my life if I have to continue on this path that was so obviously not meant for me. I cannot imagine a life so incompatible with my own hopes and dreams. As your daughter, it is important for you to wish me happiness in my life, which I have found through child development. I feel that my strong passion, which finally brings me happiness and love for a subject, is something that will fuel my career goals and will send me on to do great things in the field. But I really, truly, hate medicine. And as disappointing as that might be for you, you are not living my life, and cannot force me to make decisions you have or have wanted to for yourselves. Sincerely,
Dr. Daughter, PhD."
Listen, often times parents try to push careers onto their kids that they think will benefit their children the most. After all, they want you to move on to join one of the most prestigious career paths - that of the medical doctor. However, it is hard for parents to sometimes understand why we don't make the same decisions that they do. You have to understand one of the most important things in life: you have to live for you, and you alone. Living out anybody else's dreams will undoubtedly lead you to a life of sadness and dissatisfaction. You need to find something that you feel passionate for, which you have, and go with it! It doesn't matter how crazy it might seem, or how hard it may be to get a job in that field, because if you are really that passionate about what you are doing, success will come to you naturally. Go with your instinct, follow your heart and dreams, and your life will be infinitely better than one created for you by your parents. This is the only way you will ever understand what it means to live a truly happy life. Good luck.
