If you read as many sports columns as I do, you'll realize that around this time of year, a lot of writers are struggling for topics. NBA playoffs are still pretty far off, Selection Sunday hasn't happened yet, spring training is about half over, and the NHL is, well, the NHL.
So a good number of columnists will turn to old reliable: the random thoughts column. It happens to every columnist at least once in his career, and it happens to most at least once a year. I have never before fallen back on the random thoughts column, but here I am. Just think of this as a columnist's coming of age. And away we go:
-- Didn't you think that more than five people would have voted in an election for the world's hottest female athlete? So did I.
-- Bobby Knight is giving his $250,000 salary back. Am I the only one who thinks that this is the greatest story of all time? Don't you think more people should be refusing their salaries? And Texas Tech didn't even have that bad of a season --16 wins overall including six in the Big 12. I can think of at least 100 other people who I would rather see give back their salaries. Can anyone say "Tony Clark?"
-- Take a look at the top three players in the NBA right now -- Kobe Bryant, Tracy McGrady, and Kevin Garnett--and what do you notice? None of them went to college. Now take a look at two of the top rookie disappointments this year -- Jay Williams and Mike Dunleavy. Notice a pattern? Things are looking better and better for LeBron James every day.
-- Just for the record, of the five people who voted in the Jennie Finch/Anna Kournikova poll, there was one vote for Finch, one (extremely long) vote for Kournikova, one undecided, and two write-in votes.
-- I'm announcing my pick for the 2003 NCAA men's basketball championship right now. IUPUI baby! Can somebody tell me how a school named Indiana-Purdue-Indianapolis exists? And why is that school called IUPUI? (And weren't you just a little bit sad to see that Valpo won't be at the tournament this year? Come on, be honest.)
-- If I had to pick a favorite food, out of all the foods in the world, it would most likely be Cheerios. Or sandwiches. I love a good sandwich.
-- I don't think I've ever been as excited for a baseball season as I am for this one, and there's one reason why. Pedro's back. Not that he ever went anywhere -- he was 20-4 last year when he said all season long that he wasn't comfortable. Well this year he's comfortable. Remember what he did in 1999? 23-4, 2.07 ERA, 313 Ks? Expect more of that.
-- Is it weird that one of the write-in votes came from my 16-year-old brother for Laura Davies?
-- As excited as I am for Pedro, I can't help but be equally queasy about Derek Lowe. I know he was filthy last year, but I just can't seem to forget about that 1998 season when the man couldn't buy a win. I've tried to forget about it, just like I try to forget about Heathcliff Slocumb, and I pray to god every night that I'm just being paranoid. Maybe we should all pray...
-- While we're on the topic of the Red Sox, how good has Manny Ramirez been lately? I know it's only spring training, but damn -- .474 with three homeruns in eight games. I don't care if he never says another word to anybody as long as he hits like that.
-- And while we're on the topic of good hitting, has anybody looked at what Shea Hillenbrand is doing in spring training? .632 average in 19 at bats, playing in seven games. Meanwhile Bill Mueller is hitting a whopping .235. Looks like there might be some controversy at third base this year...
-- Just when I thought I couldn't lose any more respect for Jim Harrick, Sr., I saw that interview with Dick Vitale. The man straight up lied to everyone on national TV, and we all knew it. He even said that all of his players at Rhode Island graduated. Hate to break it to ya Jimbo, only seven of the eight you recruited got a diploma.
-- I think I'd like to sit down and have a chat with Pee-Wee Herman. I wonder what that guy's really like.
-- Special recognition must be given to Randy Newsom, who proposed the following theory about the Kournikova vs. Finch debate.
"To compare one to the other is like comparing Kelly Kapowski from Saved by the Bell (Finch) to Valerie Malone from 90210 (Anna). Similar in some ways, but completely different in levels of hotness. We are talking about two different schools of hot here. Jenny Finch is fun on a Friday Night hot, and Anna Kournikova is 'I have no chance in hell with her' hot, two completely different ball games."
A very admirable theory, but inherently flawed. With Kournikova you know that you have "no chance in hell," but with Jennie Finch you think have a shot when, really, nothing could be further from the truth. And that is precisely what makes Jennie Finch hotter than any other female athlete.
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