Shaq and Kobe are already feuding, Chris Webber is injured, and Keith Van Horn is hearing the boos again. That's right; the NBA is back, coming live to Tufts on ABC and TNT (and on ESPN for everyone else in America).
Inside the NBA is back too, with predictions on which teams will make the playoffs in each conference.
Eastern Conference:
1) New Jersey: Jason Kidd, Kenyon Martin, and Richard Jefferson are back, and that's enough to offset the fact that coach Byron Scott is too.
2) Detroit: LeBron James may be getting all the hype, but first names don't get any cooler than the number two pick in the draft, Pistons rookie Darko Milicic.
3) Indiana: Now that Larry Bird has fired pseudo-coach Isiah Thomas, anything is possible for the talented Pacers.
4) Orlando: If Tracy McGrady's back holds up, the Magic are set.
5) Philadelphia: New 76er Glenn Robinson (domestic assault and battery, illegal possession of a gun) joins Allen Iverson (14 felony and misdemeanor charges) to form a solid 1-2 rap sheet combo. If they can be as potent playing with each other on offense, Philly will be just fine.
5) New Orleans: Good, solid, boring team.
6) Chicago: The first time coach Bill Cartwright draws up a play to give the final shot to Jalen Rose, will Scottie Pippen refuse to reenter the game?
7) Boston: With Antoine Walker gone, the Celtics are looking for new candidates to miss five three-pointers a game. Seriously, they'll make the playoffs because Paul "sickest spin move in the league" Pierce will be the MVP of the East and because people don't realize the intangible contributions of Eric Williams, Walter McCarty, and Tony Battie.
But when Pierce is being triple teamed, someone else is going to have to step up offensively. Could that person actually be Vin Baker?
8) Toronto: It's now or never for Vince Carter.
Note: The Miami Heat can make the playoffs if Lamar Odom isn't suspended for marijuana use. But what are the odds of that happening?
Western Conference:
1) San Antonio: Tim Duncan is still Tim Duncan, and Emanuel Ginobili and Speedy Claxton are only going to get better.
2) Los Angeles: Shaq: "As long as it's my team, then I'll voice my opinion. If you don't like it, then opt out."
Kobe: "No more coming into camp fat and out of shape... no more blaming others for our team's failure, or blaming staff members for not overdramatizing your injuries so that you avoid blame for your lack of conditioning... if leaving the Lakers at the end of the season is what I decide, a major reason for that will be Shaq's childlike selfishness and jealousy."
Good times, good times. But no matter where Kobe ends up after this season (LA, jail, elsewhere), the Lakers still have coach Phil Jackson at the helm to mediate the feud, plus four Hall of Famers on the court to guide them through the playoffs. However, when they win the championship, Karl Malone's ring will be nullified for selling out on team loyalty to go trophy hunting.
3) Dallas: Antoine Walker made a bad pass that led to a turnover 37 seconds into his Maverick career. With less than two minutes gone in the game, he had committed two fouls and thrown up a three pointer that completely missed the rim. Halfway through the first quarter, the Mavs -- the highest scoring team in the NBA last year -- had zero points. Coincidence?
It will take this team awhile to mesh, but when they do, look out.
4) Minnesota: The key here is that Kevin Garnett is now surrounded by real teammates that actually belong in the NBA, like Sam Cassell, Latrell Sprewell, and Michael Olowokandi. This could this be the year the T-Wolves make it to the second round of the playoffs.
5) Sacramento: The Kings' window of opportunity has probably already closed on them. Vlade Divac and Webber will both miss the start of the season, probably hurting the squad's playoff seed. But if it means that they are more rested for the postseason, this team could have one last title run in them.
6) Phoenix: The classic sleeper, the Suns can beat anyone on any given night. But they're not quite ready to beat everyone on most nights.
7) Houston: Stevie Francis finally got his migraine problem solved, but now enigma Eddie Griffin is giving new coach Jeff Van Gundy headaches. The solution: just feed Yao Ming the rock.
8) Portland: A quick recap of the Blazers activities last season: fighting teammates, fighting other teams, fighting other teams' fans, spitting on opponents in games, and of course, drug arrests.
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