With Halloween just around the corner, we here at the Daily have spent at least seven minutes considering our costumes for this year. Where better to look for inspiration than Hollywood? Unfortunately, our efforts to find worthy get-ups have proven futile; considering it's kind of Hollywood's job, you'd think that costumes in Tinseltown would be a little more convincing. That said, we can't help but share our findings with you. Here, in a spooky, hierarchical style, we present to you the Top Ten Worst Costumes Donned by a Celebrity, a Fictional Character, a Fictional Character Posing as a Celebrity, or a Celebrity Posing as a Fictional Character. Or a mix of all four.
10.) Dustin Hoffman as "Dorothy Michaels" in "Tootsie" (1982) - We've all been there, dressing as a woman, desperate to get our break on daytime television. Except Dustin Hoffman wasn't on "Jerry Springer"; he was in a slapstick, oddly critically acclaimed '80s comedy. Dressed as a woman. An ugly, hairy, "Hey, guess what Dustin Hoffman would look like as a woman" kind of woman.
9.) The Phantom as "Not deformed" in "Phantom of the Opera" - That white mask may cover your hideously scarred face, you monster, but inside our minds, you still look funky - and your "Angel of Music" schtick could use some work. Nice cape, though.
8.) Amanda Bynes as "the Man" in "She's the Man"- There's no denying there are some members of the fairer sex who look like (or may be) card-carrying XYers (hats off, Hilary Swank). But the practically prepubescent (and not in an androgynous way) Bynes is not one of them. Bynes' effort was minimal; instead of ditching the lipstick, she opted to don a wig and a mildly ethnic Southern accent. Hey, all guys do that!
7.) Steve Urkel as "Stefan Urquelle" in "Family Matters" - Steve, you're way too smart for Laura. Anyone who can't see that Stefan is just you in longer pants and contacts has to be a few aces short of a full deck. Your ultra-smooth alter-ego may have shown us that geeks are hot, but it doesn't change the fact that you spent most of your time wearing saddle shoes and suspenders.
6.) Wayans Brothers as "White Chicks" in "White Chicks" (2004) - Shawn and Marlon Wayans don't really belong on this list; their terrifying, frozen countenances are the best portrayals of extraterrestrials we've seen since "AVP: Alien vs. Predator" (2004). Oh wait, they were supposed to be white women? Right. Then they're No. 6.5.) Mr. Pink, Mr. White, Mr. Brown, Mr. Blue, Mr. Orange, Mr. Blonde as "Anonymous criminals in matching suits" in "Reservoir Dogs" (1992) - We all enjoy those color-coded nicknames that Tarantino oh-so-cleverly utilized in his well-known breakout film, but if he, and they, cared so much about "The Perfect Crime" and hiding their true identities, then wouldn't they want to ... you know ... wear masks? Just saying.
4.) Jack Black as "Athletic" in "Nacho Libre" (2006) - With true "I'm not gonna cook it, but I'll order it from Zanzibar" gusto, the tenacious Jack Black dons a blue-and-red spandex onesie with its matching, flattering, face-flattening luchador mask all in the name of Mexican orphans. We're into charity, too, but we'd prefer a costume that leaves a little more to the imagination.
3.) Garth Brooks as "Chris Gaines" in "General" - Friends in low places will never tell you when you have spinach in your teeth - or when you look stupid trying to adopt a new "rock" identity to revive your self-destructing country music career. You didn't fool us with your emo wig and soul patch, Brooks! By the way, can we borrow those for the Crafts House party?
2.) Julia Roberts as "Pregnant Julia Roberts" in "Oceans 12" (2004) - In a practice commonly referred to as "breaking the fourth wall," the always-modest "Pretty Woman" wowed us with her portrayal of herself and her-pregnant-self (it was a pillow). We're humbled, Julia (and Pregnant Julia); you're right: You are the only person who could play you (and you) in poorly made sequels.
1.) Superman as "Clark Kent" in "Superman" (1978), "Superman II" (1980), "Superman III" (1983) and all Superman-related media, ever - Wait, seriously. Clark, you're Superman? Those glasses sure had us fooled!
- by Stephanie Vallejo, Greg Connor and Anne Fricker
