Between new episodes and re-runs, television is rife with crime-solving detective shows, and last week, ABC added a new one to the bunch: "Women's Murder Club," starring Angie Harmon (an ex-"Law and Order" chick) as Detective Lindsay Boxer.
Outraged at the emergence of another female crime-fighter, Detective Olivia Benson from "Law and Order: SVU," Catherine Willows from "CSI" and Deputy Chief Brenda Johnson from "The Closer" come down to the studio to return things to the status quo.
Brenda Johnson (Kyra Sedgwick) struts in first with a fierce look in her eye - but then greets the new-comer with a Southern, passive-aggressive "Howdy." Disgusted with her lack of gumption, Olivia Benson (Mariska Hargitay) busts down the door and pushes Johnson aside, the latter woman's blond hair flailing helplessly as she falls.
Pointing a gun at her head, Benson demands to know Boxer's intentions. If Boxer plans to start investigating rape cases, it is going to get personal.
Boxer looks around the room, desperately trying to find a friendly face that could help her get out alive. From the corner of the room emerges Catherine Willows (Marg Helgenberger). She has just come off her second job as a stripper and is dressed to impress. Confident that "CSI" is so amazing that it could stand a little competition, she joins the ranks with Boxer, tossing the new girl a gun and turning to face the others - in a mildly S&M porn-type fashion.
Benson grabs Johnson off the floor by her hair and throws her at the other two in a fit of rage. As Boxer and Willows lay dazed on the floor, she shoots them both, looks around with satisfaction, and then says, "Damn. There are fingerprints everywhere!"
-by Kristin Gorman
