I like to friend famous athletes on Facebook.com. There, I said it. The idea that I could be "friends" with a person that I watch on TV is really cool to me. You think it's weird? Fine. But it's time that everyone knew. I suppose this fascination of mine started last year when I was bored one night and unwilling to do homework. Then it hit me: a lot of the younger players on the Red Sox are only a few years removed from college, right? Theoretically, a few of them should still have their Facebook accounts.
In my first attempt, centerfielder Jacoby Ellsbury denied me. Despite having the Red Sox in my Interests, Jacoby apparently decided that accepting the friendship of some random kid from Boston might not be worthwhile. He doesn't know what he's missing.
I aimed a little lower on my next try, and guess what? Daniel Bard, the highly-touted Sox pitching prospect, now lists Will Herberich among his Facebook friends. Still, I knew I could do better.
I hit the jackpot when Craig Hansen, the former Sox closer-of-the-future, accepted my friend request. From this lucrative friendship, I learned two important things: one, a major league pitcher, regardless of what he looks like, has no problem picking up women; and two, Jonathan Papelbon looks like he's as much fun to hang out with as he seems when he's goofing off in the bullpen.
The highlight of my Friendship with Craig was when I discovered a picture of him at his birthday party, shoving a cake in the shape of a woman's breasts into his face while Papelbon howled with laughter in the background. Priceless. Sadly, Hansen has since deleted his Facebook account.
Since then, I've had limited success. Laurence Maroney, the Patriots' running back, rejected me. So did Brandon Meriweather, the Pats' first-round pick from this past year. It was only when I decided to go after Notre Dame football players - who are obviously still in college, and thus far more likely to have Facebook - that this little obsession of mine really took off.
I friended senior captains, freshman benchwarmers and everyone in between. Evan Sharpley? Check. Maurice Crum? Absolutely. I have yet to friend Jimmy Clausen, mostly because if my man-crush denied me, I'm not sure if I could handle it.
I'm not the only person who enjoys doing this. Though he might deny it if you ask him, Danny Joseph (of Friday's "Gimme the Pill" fame) is the proud Facebook friend of NBA players Ike Diogu and Monta Ellis.
So, other than having too much time on our hands, why do we do it? I think it's because it's cool to see that famous athletes project themselves so similarly to the average person.
They have favorite movies, and similar musical taste, and friends that write on their Wall. They've got pictures of themselves acting stupid at a birthday party with a friend (even if that friend happens to be an All-Star closer). They even reject people that they don't know, just like most of us.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go try to friend Greg Oden again.
Will Herberich is a sophomore who has not yet declared a major. He can be reached at William.Herberich@tufts.edu.
