Models rule the world. Yes, those impossibly long-legged, smooth-tressed Amazons who earn millions of dollars prancing around in ridiculous clothes.
Not since the days of Zooba pants and Michael Jackson's second nose have models reigned so completely over the cultural landscape. Remember the seminal 1991 George Michael video "Freedom?". (Maybe it's just modelizers, those of us who pour over Vogue as if Dior ads were our very sustenance and who revel in the utter ridiculousness that is the high-fashion world.)
Either way, that video is often claimed as the high point of the model-as-celebrity age, when names like Linda, Naomi and Christy were treated like, say, Ashley Tisdale might be treated now.
Personally, I love this renaissance of the celebrimodel. Gorgeous, fabulously bony and hilariously foreign girls like Agyness Deyn (real name Laura Hollins), Coco Rocha, and Chanel Iman are fueling multi-million-dollar campaigns and gracing magazine covers worldwide.
Vogue featured a group of these models on its May cover, touting them as "The World's Next Top Models," recalling the name of a certain ubiquitous reality show. Just look at that list of names. How can you not have a slightly guilty giggle? (For further fabulousness, note that "Agyness" is an anagram of "Gayness." )
Models are everywhere. Forbes magazine recently reported that Gisele Bündchen, one of the few supermodels who can walk as easily down a couture runway as a Victoria's Secret catwalk, made $30 million last year alone and estimated her fortune to be over $150 million, making her the world's richest model. Bündchen also dabbled in acting and high-profile paramours, such as Tom Brady and Leonardo DiCaprio, increasing her profile and universal renown.
Kate Moss, another model on Forbes' list, famously broke out her skis a little too close to a paparazzi lens, and her rocky relationship with famous-for-being-an-addict ex-boyfriend Pete Doherty has made her a fixture of the celebrity blogosphere. Moss is still making headlines 15 years after becoming a household name for ushering in the heroin-chic look.
Not many legitimate Hollywood stars can claim such longevity, but other models like Naomi Campbell, who shot her first French Vogue cover in 1988, also continue to don Chanel gowns and Christian Louboutin heels for editorials around the world.
The world of television remains the model's ultimate haven, with businesswomen like Heidi Klum, Kimora Lee Simmons and Tyra Banks ruling the boob tube in every sense of the phrase. Banks, who never was what could be considered a high-fashion model, became one of the most bankable models of the 1990s and now stands to inherit the rhinestone tiara of talk show host Oprah Winfrey.
Fairly successful as an actress, entrepreneur and model, Banks actually has a likeable TV persona. Despite, or perhaps because of, her legitimately hilarious insanity, she may be just compelling, beautiful and overly dramatic enough to become the TV best friend of the real-life desperate housewives of America.
So this Thanksgiving, as you are preparing to dig into your third slice of grandma's pecan pie, try to push the fact that six-foot-tall, 103-pound, Nordic princesses will one day control the universe, and just do what Tyra does: Tell everyone to kiss your fat ass!
Billy DeGregorio is a senior majoring in English and Spanish with a minor in communications and media studies. Contact him at william.degregorio@tufts.edu.
