This week, in honor of Disney's newest princess (Giselle from "Enchanted") we've brought together four of the classic princesses for a royal showdown: Snow White from - you guessed it - "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" (1937), Jasmine from "Aladdin" (1992), Ariel from "The Little Mermaid" (1989) and Belle from "Beauty and the Beast" (1991).
Snow White enters the ring with seven whistling dwarves behind her; Jasmine follows with her tiger, Rajah, and Belle with her entourage of kitchenware. Suddenly, the three become aware of a convulsing body in the shadows. It's Ariel who, unfortunately, not only doesn't have a cool gang to back her up, but also has no legs.
As she's flopping around on the floor, Grumpy gets so annoyed that he kicks her in the face, knocking her out. Belle, appalled by this angry outburst walks over to try and change Grumpy's particularly grumpy ways. Obviously displeased, Grumpy jumps up to smack this one, too, but Mrs. Teapot storms over and throws her son, Chip, hitting Grumpy squarely in the nose. Hey, he was chipped anyway.
Chaos quickly ensues. Across the cage, kitchenware battles dwarves, Beauty is wrestling Rajah and Jasmine is trying to seduce Snow White with her good looks and charm while simultaneously trying to give her an apple she just "happened" to pick up on the way to the match.
Out of nowhere, Genie pops out, opens Snow's mouth and shoves in the apple, ending the day for Ms. White and her posse. Jasmine then turns to Belle who is gathering up broken pieces of glass and trying to repair her dear friends.
The candlestick and clock stand loyally between Belle and the fearsome Persian, but a little fire is no match for a tiger, let alone an all-powerful genie. After Jafar, this is nothing.
Belle screams for the Beast to come and rescue her, but instead, he is seen dashing across the stage with a mob of angry townsfolk following. Belle knows she is defeated. Jasmine agrees to end the fight amicably if Belle gives up her sexy yellow ball gown - and Belle acquiesces.
Honestly, her boyfriend's a beast. Who is she trying to impress anyway?
