The Lush loves chatty wait staff. They're excited about where they work, and they don't mind fielding a few questions about the offerings.
This is key at pubs - if I'm shelling out the money for a specialty brew, then I want to know that the staff can help me out and steer me toward something I'll actually enjoy.
Take Bukowski's in Inman Square. They give you a tap list a page long and a book - yes, a book - of bottled selections. You would need CliffsNotes to help you navigate the vast selection.
Bukowski's is a must for any visit to Inman Square. It's always packed and loud and full of the young professionals who straddle the line between Somerville and Cambridge. There's a Wheel o'Beer to help you make your decision if you're lost on the menu, but I've never seen anyone use it. The downside: The wait staff can be more than a little uppity. And plastic lovers beware - they only take cash.
So what's the attraction for me? It may have something to do with the Reuben burger with a veggie patty and fries, but it probably has more to do with a quixotic desire to try all of their many varieties of beer.
Let's look at your Lush's worst visit: a stop for burgers and beer after the first harrowing week of class as second-semester seniors (three whole classes - ouch!). The usual bouncer must have gotten cold and stepped inside, because our waitress checked our IDs at the table instead. We all happened to be non-Massachusetts residents, and the usual song and dance went on to confirm the authenticity of our drivers' licenses.
Now, on to the main event: the beer selection. Here's how the ordering went:
Lush: Could you recommend a light beer on tap? Maybe a Belgian white or something?
Waitress: Um ... (vacant stare)
Lush: How about this one, Wailing Wench?
Waitress: Sure. Totally. It's light, hoppy too.
Lush: I'll have that.
So you can imagine the Lush's dismay when she got a glass of dark, dense ale. And also our dismay when the beers came only seconds before our appetizer, meaning the kitchen staff was more on top of things than the bartenders. But back to the beer. Both of my guests were happy with their selections, a couple of winter ales. And mine was actually very good, and "hoppy" indeed, but I'd have been much happier with something light. Perhaps the bartender poured the wrong beer? Nope. When I came home and looked up Wailing Wench online, I found the Syracuse brewery's description as follows: "Dark and robust brewed in the style of an American strong ale, full-bodied and screaming with hops." Thanks a lot, Evil Deceptive Waitress, thanks a lot.
And my best visit to Bukowski's? I came in with a big group, expecting more to join us later, and the charming waiter sat down at one of our empty seats and proceeded to give us a guided tour of the tap list. He helped one of us pick a fruit beer - strawberry, I believe - and we all ordered seconds, if not thirds. Perhaps the best part was spying Evil Deceptive Waitress in the back of the pub, relegated to delivering orders instead of taking them. Schadenfreude? You betcha. Don't mess with the Lush's beer.
Kate Peck is a senior majoring in English. She can be reached at Katherine.Peck@tufts.edu.
