For this very last installment of "Errors, Big Mistakes and Calamities," I'd like to take you all on a journey back in time, as we revisit the top three calamities of this past semester:
3. Prolonging the inevitable. Isiah Thomas came up a lot this semester, didn't he? In fact, I couldn't seem to get my mind off of the unpopular coach, who had all - well, almost all - the right players, but couldn't seem to win more than 23 games (which is, for all you mathematicians out there, just over one-fourth of the 82 total season contests).
I was simply unable to grasp why James Dolan, chairman of Madison Square Garden, would hold onto Thomas all year. Dolan's inaction often made fans wonder whether Thomas had classified information on the Knicks which he was salivating to reveal upon his termination. However, at the end of one of the most miserable seasons sports fans can remember, Donnie Walsh, the new Knicks executive enforcer, finally relieved Thomas of his duties as coach.
Still, I'm not going to let the Knicks off scot-free. Why couldn't they fire Thomas earlier in the season? In keeping him, they only prolonged the beginning of the infamous rebuilding phase through which each crappy team must go. Therefore, congratulations to James Dolan and the New York Knicks organization on receiving one of my calamities of the year.
2. A multifaceted catastrophe. Adam "Pacman" Jones, one of the most troubled cornerbacks in the NFL, made a career-high two appearances in my column this semester. The first, much to the chagrin of several super-serious Dallas Cowboys bloggers, was to scold Dallas for even considering acquiring a player who boasts six arrests on his résumé. His second cameo was inevitable, as the Cowboys, after weeks of fun-filled suspense, agreed to a deal with the Tennessee Titans that sent Jones to Dallas in exchange for virtual spare change.
And now, I welcome the Pacman Jones saga back to my column, as upon trading for "the Pac," the Cowboys immediately inked the cornerback for four risky, uncertain, hazardous, chancy and unsafe (or whatever other synonyms for risky you can come up with) years. Thus, if I may group the entire Pacman Jones situation into one gigantic clump, Dallas Cowboys and Jerry Jones, this calamity's for you. Now, Pacman, get out there and prove me wrong!
1. New England's finest. In week three of my corner of the Daily, I gave my take on the Patriots' shocking Super Bowl loss. The end result of the game undoubtedly took the smug smiles off Tom Brady's and Bill Belichick's humorless faces, as the Pats were unable to put the icing on the cake of their miracle season.
The reasons for undoubtedly the worst calamity of the past few months? Perhaps Belichick's switch from his normal gray sweatshirt to a red, Elmo-like garment had something to do with it. Or, one could credit the fact that the Patriots' offensive line decided to take the week off. Perhaps the king and creator of the universe found a way to bring sweet, sweet karma to a team that brought new meaning to the words "NFL Films."
Whatever the reason, I can confidently call the Patriots' loss the most shocking calamity of not only this semester but this year, this decade, this century and this A.D. After all, what's the difference if you win 18 games in a row when you can't win the one that matters most?
Well, fans, that's it for me (at least for now). Hope you enjoyed reading over the last few months, and make sure to keep a watchful eye in sports from now on. You just might see someone doing something stupid.
Jeremy Strauss is a sophomore majoring in environmental studies. He can be reached at Jeremy.Strauss@tufts.edu.
