Dear SOS,
HIIIIIIIIIIi, So my bf lyke rly wants me 2 dress up like a huge sl00t for H-WEEN this yr bc he rly wantz me to help fulfill his sexual role-play fantasies :0 LOL. I think he wantz me 2 go as lyke a ~*naughti sch00lgUrl*~ or maybi a ~*sexi Fr3nch m@id*~ ROFL s0000 embarrassingggg, r1ght?! What do I?? SOS CAN SOMEONE HELP ME (ahaha riHaNnA rULez!!)
Sincerely,
R3LUCT4NT R0L3-PL4Y3R
Dear R3LUCT4NT R0L3-PL4Y3R,
First of all, thanks for your message — I actually didn't know that I still had a MySpace account until I got an e-mail notifying me of your query! Oh and btdubbers, I checked out your music page and I've got so say I LOVED that song where you pined for your dead cat in that really raspy voice and then switched over to a really oddly convincing rendition of koRn's "Freak on a Leash." Niiiice. And I wondered why I never go on MySpace anymore.
Anyways, you seem to have asked the right question, because, guess what? H-ween is just chock-full of kids with pent-up sexual desires hoping to manifest those through a whole variety of role-play scenarios :X. Hate to say it, but your "bOiii~fR3InD" might not be so crazy after all, so stop being such a Halloweenie. (Just be cautious if he asks you to take out a play "broomstick" and "ravage him like a monster." We've all been there, and we all know how, uh, sticky it can get.)
And here's where I get all Lara Levi on you: Let's start with the classic example of the naughty schoolgirl. After going to an all-girls school for seven years of my life, I can count upwards of 11 classmates of mine who brought their uniform to school SPECIFICALLY to fulfill men's (and women's … It goes both ways!) desires of the aforementioned fantasy. I don't really know exactly what it is that men find quite so appealing, but I could guess it would lie somewhere along the lines of short skirts and borderline pedophilic perversions. If you do plan on going as a schoolgirl, make sure to bring a ruler — because corporal punishment is so0o0o0o0o0 in this year. Just ask John McCain.
--Charlotte Steinway is a "junior" majoring in "sociology." She can be reached at Charlotte.Steinway@tufts.edu, but it doesn't matter, because she makes up her own SOS questions anyway.
