TUTV and the Daily team up for 'Rob Silverblatt's Apprentice'

    In order to boost its ratings using the low-budget low-standards reality TV formula, TUTV has premiered its first-ever reality show. Following the success of "Stylista," in which contestants vie for a job with Elle magazine, the network teamed up with the Daily to produce "Rob Silverblatt's Apprentice." In the show, contestants will compete for a coveted spot as a Daily staff writer.
    Known for its trademark low volume levels and it's bold, hit series "Picture of Tufts with Background Music for 10 Hours," TUTV has certainly taken a risk by giving its writers a rest and letting ordinary Tufts students guide the series.
    Freshman Ellis Overs is excited for the opportunity. "I was the editor in chief of my high-school paper," he said, "and I really want to be a journalism major, and ... wait, there's no journalism major here? Balls!"
    Overs was kicked off in the first episode for using profanity, which everyone and their mother knows violates The Daily Style Guide. Borrowing a line from Donald Trump, contestants are ‘fired' when Managing Editor Snarky Susan invites the unlucky student into her office and yells, "Fail!" and then punches them in the crotch.
     Contestants who made it past the interview process in the first episode will be given a rigorous exam. Questions will force contestants to find the humor in every "Late Night at the Daily," get the phone number of every female Arts editor, solve a word jumble and run around drunkenly through campus on a random Friday night, all of which are understood to be skills essential for work at the Daily.
    After passing this preliminary exam, contestants must undergo a series of physical tests, such as fetching coffee from Brown & Brew, arm-wrestling the Sports department and living in a cold, windowless basement for 60 hours a week. The challenges will continue until a new staff writer is crowned at the end of the year.
    Asked about the idea for the show, producer Bob Dilverblatt responded, "After reading the ‘Lipstick Jungle' op-ed in The Wall Street Journal, I realized that Tufts students are all a bunch of cut-throat, sex-crazed, morally-absent maniacs, so I thought, ‘why not make a reality show?'"
    "Rob Silverblatt's Apprentice" premieres tonight at 9 p.m. on TUTV, with encore presentations all day, every day for the rest of the semester. It's their only show. "Man vs. Silverblatt," in the style of Fox's "Man vs. Beast," will premiere next spring.