Since the long-awaited vampire romance-thriller "Twilight" comes out this Friday, we thought it proper to search pop culture for other seemingly normal people who were hiding a thirst for human blood. After throwing away all the all-too-obvious ones (Gary Busey, Martha Stewart, Lindsay Lohan) we found some startling results.
10. Jared Leto: This 30 Seconds to Mars frontman and all-around strung-out-looking actor (2000's "Requiem for a Dream," anyone?) will only need a pair of fangs to add to the eyeliner, pale skin and black hair for the transformation to be complete. Teen-aged girls might swoon over him now, but wait until he tries to suck the blood of his fan-base ... it might be the end of his career as he knows it.
9. Tim Curry: While Curry and friends have since regretted playing their parts in "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" (1975), there is no denying that Dr. Frank, and many of Curry's other characters, would make perfect vampires. Frank could have a coffin surrounded by Boas, and Nigel Thornberry could catch the animals he is documenting and use them for ritual sacrifices. Great Scott!
8. Amy Winehouse: She only goes out at night, she's deathly thin, and she almost certainly cannot be killed by conventional methods — she's tried that with far too many substances already. Our guess is she's sucking Blake dry before she moves on to the next guy.
7. Hillary Clinton: As if the paleness and lack of human emotion weren't enough to give it away, she picked a poor choice of covers by pretending to be married to Bill. It finally makes sense why Bill ventured to other sources for a different kind of sucking...
6. Bunnicula: If you haven't read the timeless childhood tale of the cute little bunny that sucks the juice out of carrots, you haven't truly lived. We always secretly hoped the rabbit would go rogue and just start devouring everyone, but, unfortunately, the rest of our 8 to 12-year-old cohorts weren't ready for that yet.
5. Count Chocula: This vampire somehow managed to sneak into the mainstream -— using the adorable tagline, "I vant to eat your cereal!" as a cover to get to young, unsuspecting children. We've always been warned not to eat too much sugary cereal because it's bad for your teeth, but don't you find it strange that it also makes you develop fangs?
4. Rob Silverblatt: What else can you say about someone who spends his days either sleeping or locked in a dark, windowless basement? Try misplacing a comma: He will come after you.
3. The Count: As the odd ghoul with a German accent in the Sesame Street series, this one might not come as a surprise. As one of our first introductions to the world of blood-sucking and garlic-abhorring, the most frightening aspect of this friendly Muppet is his inability to stop counting. Since he's made of harmless felt and stuffing, we'll assume he's not counting victims…
2. Will Smith in "I Am Legend" (2007): You see, since Smith was the only survivor of the human race, he was forced to hide away in his "castle," coming out in the daylight to prey on the vampires, who were trying to go about their everyday lives. Who do you think is the bigger threat to society? Yeah, that just blew your mind.
1. Jumbo: What do you think those giant tusks are for? We all know the fictional story of our mascot's heroic adventures, but all those lies are covering up the truth: He's a bloodsucking, nocturnal monster, and Barnum Hall actually burned down from the angry mob of (Somer)villagers who torched the building in an attempt to save future generations from his wrath. Who ever said we had a lame mascot?
— compiled by the Daily Arts Department
