From the Office of the Tufts Daily

Dear Susan Boyle,
    Wow.
    You'll have to forgive us when we say that we didn't see that coming. Your performance of "I Dreamed a Dream" from "Les Miserables" on "Britain's Got Talent" was truly amazing and heartwarming. And when you walked out on that stage, we were just about as skeptical as the bratty teenage girls and other stuck-up audience members who jeered at you. But we got you all wrong.
    No matter how ugly you are, or how deeply, horribly disturbing your gyrating hip dance was, you totally owned that song. Heck, even Piers Morgan and Simon Cowell were blown away, and Cowell isn't known for giving out grandiose compliments. It's almost like you're the British William Hung, except you can actually sing, and you could make a career for yourself out of your talent. Wouldn't it be great if you could get that same standing ovation five nights a week to a sold out crowd of thousands? We at the Daily think this is a definite possibility. But we would like to offer several humble bits of advice that may help you sell out places like TD Banknorth Garden — should you decide to hop across the pond one day — even faster.
    Number one: Get a makeover. Seriously. We aren't trying to be rude, but we don't want you to become one of those singers that are only around to make recordings for younger, hotter stars to lip sync to. Remember Milli Vanilli?
    Number two: Get a quality songwriter who can show off the pipes you have, and don't settle for the easy songs. Do something that will blow your audience away.
    Finally, number three: Don't do drugs. It may seem cool when all the other rock stars are snorting crack in the bathrooms, but, seriously, don't. We don't think you'd last long in prison.

Love,

The Daily Arts Department