With registration just around the corner, you're probably thinking about which courses you'll sign up for next semester. If you've been searching SIS night and day, only to slowly accept that the course you're looking for just isn't there, we at the Daily Arts Department want you to know that you're not alone. We feel your pain, and in response, we've come up with a list of artistic, albeit quirky, courses that we would like to see the Experimental College offer next semester. Read them and dream about what it would be like to spend two and a half hours of your week on these fascinating subjects.
10. Extreme Underwater Basket Weaving: Ever take a course that was a total waste of time? This class certainly isn't. Learn how to weave rods and soak reeds all while doing flips, twists and dives in the deep end. That's not the only extreme part; there are tests, papers, and pop quizzes on how to create the best wicker hand baskets and decorative ornament holders. Try not to drown either; it's only the ExCollege.
9. Tattoos, Tramp Stamps and Otherwise: The ExCollege has offered tattoo classes before, but no class has ever gone as deeply into its subject matter as this one. Students will conduct field experiments, completing a detailed study of the relationship between lower-back tattoos and slutty behavior, documenting new species of body art and even getting the opportunity to ink their classmates' bodies.
8. How to be a Drama Queen: This course will teach students how to access the artistic integrity of their inner drama queen. So, if you feel like spending a couple of hours a week screaming at the top of your lungs, crying over misunderstood statements and figuring out how to sabotage your best friend's relationship, this class is definitely the one for you.
7. Attitudes of "The Scene": How to be a Hipster: Always wanted to be cool like the "hipsters" and "scenesters" you've been hearing so much about? Now you can learn the basics of the hipster style: dressing ironically, listening to music ironically, smoking Marlboro Reds ironically and, yes, even drinking PBR ironically. Before you know it, you'll have mastered "The Scene" to such an extent that you then have to disassociate yourself from yourself because you've tragically become that paragon of conformity against which you'd always fought. Ironic, right?
6. Finger-painting by Numbers/Elementary Art: If you feel that you were at your artistic prime in kindergarten, then this is the class for you. Rejoin the magical world of finger-painting and learn how to create intricate designs with pre-fabricated patterns. Who says finger-painting is for four-year-olds? After this class, you won't.
5. "That's What She Said": Sexual Innuendo, A Beginner's Guide: It can be a long, hard struggle to get it in... A foot in the door for good conversation, that is! "That's What She Said" will give you just the tips needed to bait and tackle any cunning linguists into a stimulating conversation. You have to come if you want a spot in this course, as the waitlist is filled with a hot load of eager beavers waiting for a truant's spot! You'll be a master debater in no time!
4. Mental Prostitution: The Modern Entertainment Industry: The course begins with students attempting to make honest, meaningful art. Unfortunately for them, only the most mainstream, saccharine work is rewarded with high grades. Ugly, unattractive or marginally-okay-looking people need not enroll.
3. "Ramen, Easy Mac and Popcorn, Oh My!": The Art of Cooking with the Microwave: Let's face it: As a college student, your budget, time schedule and culinary abilities are limited when it comes to meal times. Wouldn't it be useful to learn how to go from drab to fab with the click of the 30-second button?
2. "Nice Shoes...": The Art of the Pickup Line: Meets every MW in a Tisch media room. And bring your library card, 'cause I'm checking you out.
1. "omg lol jk": An English Class for the Textually Active: If you've ever turned in an English paper with "a/b," "b/c" or "btw" in it, then lyk omg ths is ttlly the clss 4 u. In this class, you won't be penalized for including AIM-speak in assignments; that's actually required. We will read today's most up-to-date texting literature and be on the cutting edge of new acronym creation. All written assignments must be submitted via txt.
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