Dear Lil Wayne,
How's prison? We hope you're hanging tough in Rikers Island. We've been following your blog at weezythanxyou.com, and we must admit that we're impressed with your desire to reconnect with the fans by responding to a few of the avalanche of letters you must be receiving daily. Don't get us wrong. We think that the whole prison-redemption cliché has been done before, but we're pleased that you're actually making a go of it: by working out, reading the Bible daily and thinking about your kids; you'll be out of there before you know it.
But let's get down to brass tacks, here: "Rebirth" (2010) might have been the worst crossover album ever made. If anything, you should try to envision yourself as imprisoned due to that steaming pile of feces you called a "rock" album, and not because of the copious quantities of marijuana, cocaine, MDMA and firearms found on your tour bus. Not to mention 20 grand of U.S. currency. We sincerely hope that it was a cash advance from the record company and not the proceeds from nefarious dealings of controlled substances. No, certainly not. We know you wouldn't do that.
By the way, how on earth did you manage to only catch a year in the pen for multiple felony arrests in several states? We'd like to meet the legal geniuses that masterminded your criminal defense. You'll be out in less than eight months if you behave yourself. And we know you will. Because we're counting on you, Weezy — from your youngest fan to President Barack Obama. We're counting on you to come out of prison, avoid rock like the plague and release "Tha Carter IV," which we are certain will go quintuple-platinum in no time, putting you securely back on top of the game.
Sincerely,
The Tufts Daily Arts Department
