Today is an important day in the history of the United States. Never mind the recent elections or the fact that it's President Barack Obama's second anniversary of being elected to presidential office, LIL WAYNE IS GETTING OUT OF PRISON! After serving eight months of his one-year sentence for criminal weapon and marijuana possession, Lil Wayne is scheduled to be released today due to good behavior. Here's what we think Tha Carter should do as soon as he gets out.
10. Catch up on "Boardwalk Empire": HBO's hit series is really engaging and dense. Sure, it'll take a few hours to catch up, but now that Wayne's out, he'd better hurry before the season finale!
9. Record an album: Shouldn't be too hard, since Lil Wayne released "I Am Not a Human Being" during his stint in county and he already has plans to collaborate with T-Pain, Drake and Birdman. Things will be so much easier when he can actually go to a recording studio rather than do prison laundry duty.
8. Buy his lawyer a "Freed Weezy" shirt: Well, he did, didn't he? You're telling us that if you freed Wayne, you wouldn't advertise that fact on your chest?
7. Get money: A wise man named Weezy once said, "Stand on my money, headbutt Yao Ming." And Weezy's only 5 feet 6 inches. Yeah, that's a lotta Benjamins.
6. Carry a gun: Nothing affirms your manhood more than concealing a Glock after spending time in prison for the very same offense.
5. Smoke some weed: Come on. He's totally gonna do this whether we suggest it or not.
4. Watch "Shawshank Redemption" (1994): That's just a good movie.
3. Count the money he made in prison: We're thinking he'll just fill a pool with it and dive in, Scrooge McDuck-style — dude was lucrative even in lock-up.
2. Shower alone: Hey Weezy, go ahead and drop that soap. You drop that soap as many times as you like.
1. Drink Four Loko before it's illegal: If Wayne's really kicked his purple drank addiction, this is the next best thing: a cocktail of energy narcotics and pure, fruit-flavored alcohol, and it won't be around much longer...
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compiled by the Daily Arts Department
