With the graduation of our current horde of all−knowing seniors fast approaching, it only feels right to warn the enlightened class of some impending challenges of navigating the next great hot mess: the working world. Lamentations of the unemployed quickly turn into lamentations of the over−employed. Those who work too hard, too long and for jobs that deprive them of a soul often find themselves doing things they would otherwise not do had their sanity been preserved.
Among these abhorrent activities is schmoozing, or the artful act of employing untruthful flattery to attain a business contact. Thrilling in its ability to reduce one's level of self−love to zero, schmoozing is admittedly advantageous to those looking for alternative jobs. At the end of a schmoozing interaction, an important exchange is made, namely that of business cards. This allows each individual to know the professional details of their schmoozing partner and facilitates a profound relationship of future favor−asking and string−pulling. It's better than love.
All these social and cultural norms of the working world are being aggressively challenged by an adorable technology, however! Behold the Poken, a Swiss innovation intending to destroy the few enjoyable aspects of schmoozing. Labeled as "your social business card" by the product's website, the Poken uses Near Field Communication to transmit the social networking details of two Poken owners.
Poken users conduct "high−fours" by passing their keychain−looking tokens over each other's, an act that exchanges the social network links and professional details of each user to be accessed later on the Poken website. "Hello" has gone high−tech with the Poken, which is good, because I was getting bored of greeting other humans with words.
The cultural phenomenon of Pokens has been brewing in the professional world for quite some time. Receiving considerable media buzz back in 2009, these cutely−designed tools have proliferated in certain professional circles. They haven't quite filtered down to the academic world yet, but the technology is widely heralded for its innovation in social networking. The Poken can seem appealing at first glance, if one can ignore the tackiness of doing something called a "high−four" — the benefits of electronic organization are undeniable, as are the paperless environmental advantages. The precious USB designs are also compelling; they're just little critters! On key chains!
But where's the romance in bumping Pokens? Aside from the slightly sexual suggestion of the phrase "bumping Pokens," this interaction promises no personal connection, no soulful understanding of two individuals who desperately want to kiss the other's ass in order to advance themselves in the professional world. It makes business cards obsolete — and with them the business card book that true schmoozers use to organize their treasured slips. You think they don't exist? Look again; it's appalling but true. They are normally bought in conjunction with a fancy pen and a hell of a lot of pretension.
I'm formulating your skeptical response so as to protect my vulnerable heart. You say, "Why does this girl hate technology so much?" Between last week's column and this one, I understand the image being promoted. But I have to defend myself, because I love technology! I use my Walkman every day. My concern is not for technological advancement, but for the cheapening of social exchange. If every interaction becomes a bump, an upload or some other weird, contrived phrase, do we really emote or connect on a sincere level? We increase our quantitative exposure to others, but what of the quality? I want to feel your hand as you pass me your business card, feel the comfort of cardstock and raised type against my palm. Is that so much to ask?
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