A ticking countdown of days, hours, minutes and seconds normally indicates an event of significant importance. For example, when featured in movies, the detonation of a bomb that threatens the entirety of human existence is often preceded by ominous shots of a countdown clock attached to a complex series of wires. Countdowns are also great for holidays (see: New Year's Eve), sporting events and space shuttle launches. Countdowns are a big deal, OK?
But in comparison to these worldwide events, countdowns seem a little excessive when applied to something as relatively insignificant as the Royal Wedding of Prince William of Wales and Kate Middleton.
Perhaps something is wrong with me, but I never bought into the royal fairy tale story; regardless, the anticipation for the world's most structured and excessive event has been building to hysterical levels since the original engagement announcement. Countless articles and websites have been created with the sole purpose of discussing and covering the wedding, exhausting every minute detail of the procession.
This obsessive frenzy has also yielded multiple variations of the Royal Wedding Countdown Clock, a downloadable application that enables the user to have a desktop clock that ticks away at the time remaining before the big day. I suppose I would describe it all as "thrilling" if I didn't have a deep respect for the English language and wanted to abuse the word.
The wedding, to be held on April 29, 2011, represents one of the most extravagant and excessive events of the year thus far. If TLC's "Say Yes to the Dress" teaches us anything about modern weddings (and the craziness of ladies in dresses), it is that the cost of a wedding often exceeds the yearly earnings of an average American household. Taken to a royal level, then, this overindulgence can make poor plebian heads spin. Estimates place the total cost of the British government−funded wedding at a whopping $48 million.
I won't even pretend to draw a parallel to the number of Tufts tuitions that sum could buy; making my readers cry is not my primary goal. In addition to the overt cost of the wedding itself, the decision to make April 29 a British national holiday will cost the country an additional $9.6 billion in forgone business. "Exorbitant" doesn't even begin to cover it.
A saving grace to this glut is the couple's gift policy. Instead of registering at the royal equivalent of Crate & Barrel, they have requested gift−givers to donate to a variety of charities in a sign of good will toward the world. I suppose I would be more touched by their seeming generosity if they had scaled back on the grandiose nature of the entire ceremony; then again, if the royal family doesn't make the world feel inferior with its exhibitions of wealth, who will?
I understand the charm and, to some extent, the appeal of a fairy tale wedding. I also cannot blame Prince William and Kate Middleton entirely for this spectacle; pressures from their family, their country and every envious individual in the world escalate their special day and add further absurdity. What I can say is that something of love is missing from this wedding. Every detail of the cake's icing is broadcast to the millions of eager followers; every minute of the ceremony obsessively outlined and analyzed to the point of exhaustion. Isn't the true beauty of a marriage the joining of souls in love? Isn't there something to be said for the way she makes his heart jump or the crooked smile of his that makes her laugh?
I guess I'm more of a romantic than my criticisms would make me seem and more human than this writer's shell permits.
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