The news of Snooki's pregnancy is a blunt reminder of the dangers of unprotected jacuzzi sex. Here at the Daily office, we couldn't help but imagine a better father than the guido gorilla known as Jionni.
10) Hugh Hefner: He might have had three girlfriends at once, but trust us, Snooki would be more work.
9) The Vlasic Stork: It's perfect. Snooki loves pickles, and he could just drop the baby off at her doorstep so she can guiltlessly drink her way through pregnancy.
8) Rasputin: Bartok would be a fantastic godfather.
7) The Situation: The baby would be 100 percent Jersey. God help it.
6) Lars von Trier: Both are great artists; that baby would have some talent.
5) George Hamilton: The child would be an unsettling shade of orange ... Mmm, crispy.
4) Guy Fieri: Think of the sorts of baby food Fieri would feed lil' Snook. We're talking deep-fried butter and bacon-wrapped Oreos. Take that, Gerber Peas!
3) Rick Santorum: Because he wouldn't dare let her abort it.
2) James Gandolfini and Justin Bieber: Just in case Bieber may not be enough man for the Snook. Luckily, Gandolfini's back hair more than makes up for Beebs' lack of facial hair.
1) Bob Saget: Together they would have a FULL HOUSE.
