Why PFTCommenter is Actually Good

The thing about bad things is that they are, almost always, bad. But what if something was so bad that it was, in some barely explicable way, good? What if, by being so incredibly stupid, you could unlock new levels of enlightenment? Well, my faithful, beautiful readers, let me tell you a thing or two about internet troll persona PFTCommenter.

For those unfamiliar with PFTCommenter, he is an anonymous presence on Twitter and several sports blogs such as SBNation.com and KissingSuzyKolber.com where he delivers blistering hot sports takes. His name means “Pro Football Talk Commenter,” a reference to idiot contest-esque commenter culture on the ProFootballTalk website. PFTCommenter delivers nothing but the stupidest, most off-base commentary on the NFL and occasionally other sports. His vitriol is the type one would expect from the average uninformed yet overconfident internet sports commenter. His tweets and longer form articles drip with spelling mistakes as well as references to “grit,” “lunchpails” and “intangibles.” He’s consistently supported the Redskins, their offensive name and their incompetent owner. He recently called for the Dolphins to re-sign Richie Incognito. He’s also the best thing to happen to sports media in a while.

Some might say that PFTCommenter is a troll, and they would certainly be correct. But in the current sphere of sports journalism, I’d like to think of him as an archetypical trickster. He meddles with and imitates several football writers and personalities such as CBS’s Pete Prisco and Sport Illustrated’s Peter King. For example, PFTCommenter writes a weekly column that runs on SBNation titled the “Monday Morning Bowel Movement”, a direct reference to Peter King’s long running “Monday Morning Quarterback.” Every iteration of the Monday Morning Bowel Movement comes with ridiculous recurring segments, such as the Joe Flacco Elite-O-Meter. The Flacco Elite-O-Meter is a jab at ESPN analyst Ron Jaworski for the career invalidating move of ranking Flacco as the fourth best quarterback in the NFL in 2013. When it comes to his Twitter, PFTCommenter will often retweet the genuine work of a professional sportswriter and have it blend in perfectly with his own nonsense. If it weren’t for the accurate spelling, “Love Nick O'Leary. No gloves, just old school like his gramps the Golden Bear” could have been a PFTCommenter piece and not a real-life tweet by sports radio host John Middlekauf. PFTCommenter has developed his style as a conglomeration of the most tough guy, sensationalist sports opinions. His continued echoing of and toying with sportswriters has done a lot to show that professional journalists and not just casual fans are capable of this level of terrible opinion.

Tricksters can be cunning or foolish, and it only takes a cursory glance at his work to make clear that PFTCommenter operates with the latter. I assume that the person who runs the PFTCommenter account isn’t an idiot, a racist, a drunk, or anything else characteristic of his online persona. Hopefully PFTCommenter’s perfect encapsulation of all those things brings enlightenment to the world of sports media. He consistently shows that sensationalism is no longer just for homers; it’s also common practice by many professionals. The fact this old boys’ club mentality is held by both PFTCommenter and serious journalists can only help to scare these writers into being smarter. When there is no discernible difference between a guy actively trying to be an idiot, and another guy actively trying to perform his job as an NFL commentator, that has to be an impetus for some change... right?