SWUG-et list

My dearest Tufts students (and Nana),

I am SWUGging out over here!!! Apparently there are only five weeks left of school, meaning that for one-quarter of the Tufts population, there are only five weeks left of college. BRB while I go curl up with my body pillow and cry to the sweet sound of Joni Mitchell à la "River" (1970).

“I wish I had a river so long / I would teach my feet to fly / Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on / I made my baby cry.”

OK, I’m back. And I brought with me a brand new attitude and a fair amount of Trader Joe’s wine. Five weeks is enough time to cross everything off of my SWUG-et list before Graduation night. Who’s with me?! Joni??

1. Graduate with a job
2. Confess your love to your first-year crush
3. Paint the cannon
4. Ride Jumbo (when/if he comes back)
5. Trick Turn one last time
6. Meet Helen
7. Have a sleepover in Tisch
8. Host a murder mystery theme party
9. Run the (Netflix) marathon
10. Have a drunk Dewick meal
11. Eat in the meeting room in Dewick
12. Combine #10 and #11
13. Eat a five-course meal at the pub
14. Make out with Froggy
15. Go on a run with barefoot lady
16. Collect cans with the can couple
17. Drive the Joey
18. Scream back at the creepy late night study voice
19. Play Pac-Man in the stacks
20. Complete a paper more than a day in advance
21. Sober Moe’s
22. Make your own coffee at the Rez
23. Go on stage at an SOC show
24. Take a selfie with Prez Monaco
25. Get on stage with Scatter Shot
26. Sext your TA
27. Go to the Crafts House
28. Get a free coffee at the Tower with your professor
29. Steal a composite off of a frat wall
30. Wear a Snuggie to class
31. Have a picnic on the floor in Dewick (BYO blanket and basket)
32. Get drunk with the Rabbi
33. Pay your parking tickets
34. Eat dinner at Monaco’s house
35. Turn the Joey into a party bus
36. Skinny dip in the pool
37. Hookup with a campus cutie
38. Go to the Loj
39. Eat a full Hodgdon cake, by yourself
40. The stacks….
41. Wear sunglasses through an entire class
42. Drop a cup down the stairs at Dewick
43. Go on a tour and ask ridiculous questions
44. Fit into all of your first-year fall clothing
45. Give the "captain my captain" speech in your last class ever
46. Do your own Naked Quad Run
47. Jump into a Quidditch match, bludger on
48. BYO whistle to a hockey practice and recreate the scene from "Miracle" (2004)
49. Beer mile on the track
50. Touch the shoes of the Fling performer (Sean Paul!?!?!?)