That’s not how we roll

Rebecca: For the most part, in my life I have never been in the position where I wanted something that was completely reasonable and could not have it. With the exception of my third grade crush who refused to hold my hand because “girls have cooties,” I have been pretty fortunate. This all came to a halt over spring break. Every time that I come home, my dad, brothers and I go to our favorite Chinese restaurant. As always, my brothers and Dad chose to start with soup. I, however, was feeling adventurous and dared to order an egg roll. To my surprise, the waiter looked at me and simply said, “No.” Assuming that he was kidding, I laughed and ordered it again, to which he responded, “No.” My dad and brothers chuckled awkwardly and the waiter made me choose a soup. Begrudgingly, I settled on wonton. My family and I began to create hypotheses of why I could not have an egg roll. Ultimately, we settled on the theory that they ran out. When the meals came out, however, everyone had an eggroll with their dish but me. It was enraging. I have come to conclusion that the waiter was sending me a message. He was telling me that I needed to watch my figure and stop indulging in fried foods if I wanted a man. After receiving his message, I proceeded to steal my brother Danny’s egg roll. I refuse to be shamed in healthy decisions.

PLEASE LIST YOUR FAVORITE MOVIES OF ALL TIME?

Rebecca: This question was submitted to our Google Doc in all capitals, so I am assuming it’s urgent. I am a big fan of lists. When I applied to Wake Forest, one of their essay questions was, “List your top 10.” I proceeded to list my favorite Ben & Jerry’s flavors. I often make pro/con lists before making any major decision in my life: pizza or Chinese for dinner, beach or pool, one cupcake or two cupcakes. As a Libra, I am painfully indecisive. But while I love lists, I hate listicles. Reading articles like “22 Lifehacks” makes me cringe. I feel that they cater to our generation’s inability to focus. I prefer lists or articles but not a bastardization of the two. So here is my list of my favorite movies in no particular order: About a Boy (2002), Rushmore (1998), Charlie Bartlett (2007), Salmon Fishing in the Yemen (2011) and Manhattan (1979).

Pooja: Although I could make a list of movies that are my favorite, that demonstrate my artistic taste, my level of cultural knowledge and my hipness, I will instead tell you my secret list of guilty pleasure movies. I will tell you the list of movies that if any of them were on HBO, it would take nothing short of an earthquake to stop me from sitting down and watching the entire thing. The first would be White Chicks (2004) — what humor. Then obviously Love Actually (2003), any Disney Channel movie that was released in the early 2000s (The Lizzie Mcguire Movie (2003), Cadet Kelly (2002), etc.). The Master of Disguise (2002) is an all-time winner, and Tuck Everlasting (2002) never fails to make me cry.

To end our column, I decided to share a bit about Rebecca’s background with Chinese food that might feed into the knowledge of her introduction. When Rebecca came to visit me in China, I knew there would be some surprises. What I didn’t know was that Rebecca has an insane obsession with spring rolls. Yes, they are served at Chinese restaurants, but no, they are not the only item in the cuisine. At every single restaurant in Shanghai and Beijing, Rebecca would want to order spring rolls — which is probably why she is still not able to get over such an injustice.