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The Tufts Daily
Where you read it first | Monday, June 24, 2024

Potty Talk: Not-so-Fresh at Carmichael

As I havealready discussedthis semester, Fresh at Carmichael’s Tuesday special — cauliflower gratin — is likely to be the single most common cause of bathroom use at Tufts. This fact alone makes the Carm bathrooms some of the most important restrooms on campus.

AMBIANCE

Despite pretty good all-gender accommodations, the gendered bathrooms have a particularly noxious effluvium which, coupled with persistent filth, earns Carm a 4/10.

PRIVACY

The all-gender bathroom is reasonably private and is recessed in a strange nook, which adds a nice buffer from the bustle outside of the dining area. The gendered bathrooms in Carm, on the other hand, are some of the most public bathrooms on campus.

The door to the men’s room is permanently ajar, which, while not a deal breaker, is certainly unnerving. Once you open the door, you are essentially already standing at the first urinal, which has no divider to separate it from the second urinal.

I have not been in the women’s bathroom, but I have heard reports that the stall doors have large openings and that enterprising bathroom goers can probably manage to look themselves in the mirror above the sinks while sitting on the toilet.

For some, a public bathroom is freeing; much like in ancient Rome or the old Yankee stadium, going to the bathroom does not have to be a lonely experience. For me, however, these bathrooms get a 2/10.

CONVENIENCE

In some senses, the Carm bathrooms could not be more convenient. Whether it is the mysterious pizza crust, suspiciously good gluten-free pasta or any of the dozens of goulashes and varied forms of mush served at Carm, the chefs there really know how to motivate students to explore their lavatories.

The problem with the convenience of the Carm bathrooms is that if you go mid-meal, you risk serious blowback from the employees. This is, of course, not their fault, as they are only seeking to mitigate fraud in our dining halls. Rather, the fault lies with the architects who put the bathroom in the strange “no man’s land” that blurs the line between “Fresh” and “at Carm.” Still, the effect is that I usually hesitate to go until I am departing from Carm, which sometimes is too late. 6/10.

HOW MANY THINGS DO I HAVE TO TOUCH

If you play your cards right in the all-gender bathroom, you will only have to touch the door handle and sink faucet. Unfortunately, the toilet’s automatic flushing mechanism was malfunctioning when I was there, so I spent some time trying to trick the toilet into flushing before I resorted to pushing the emergency flush button. 6/10.

FINAL SCORE

If you wander into Fresh at Carm on a Meatless Monday, you, like many unsuspecting diners before you, will be forced to use one of its restrooms. Unless you want this to be a public display, I would recommend opting for the all-gender, but either way, you should be wary. 4.5/10.

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