For those who are wondering if I’m still alive, I can confidently say I think I am. I’m going on my third full week in Barcelona, and my stats have been pretty crazy: 10 nights out past 3 a.m., 50 bocadillos, 100 cafés sin leche, 574 Google Maps searches and one Instagram post (on my spam, because I’m still thinking up a caption for my real account).
I say that I only ‘think’ I’m still alive because, in reality, these past three weeks haven’t felt that real — they’ve been more like a dream, floating from one experience to the next. There hasn’t been a single day here where I haven’t had a new experience or interacted with something completely bewildering to me.
Along with my new dreamlike reality, I don’t feel like my normal self (hence the title). I don’t remember the last time I slept more than seven hours. I’m in a constant state of questioning whether I’m hungover or still drunk, and these Europeans don’t seem to believe in the American strategy of covering food in butter, oil and preservatives to fill up. While normally this would be a pretty big red flag, here in Barcelona, it is exactly what I want.
It was hard for me to decide what to write about for this column. Obviously, I would love to just write about everything I have been doing and why I’m in love with this place, but that wouldn’t be the most relevant or enjoyable read for the majority of my readers. (It’s almost 60 degrees here, by the way. I heard it was snowing a bit in Boston. A little chilly? Not really sure…)
While thinking about what to write, I reflected on why my time abroad has been such a good experience — why I rave about this place to whoever will listen, and why I’m always hungry, tired and hungover. Can I blame everything on the culture here? Probably not, but I mean, it doesn’t help that the beers are extremely cheap and the clubs are open until 6 a.m.
At the end of the day, I think that one of the main reasons is that I’m just not saying ‘no’ anymore. No matter how tired I am or how much work I have (I’ve had one homework assignment so far), I’m always down to do something, whether that’s trying out a new restaurant that doesn’t show up on Google Maps or walking 10,000 steps while exploring a new neighborhood. I’m getting déjà vu writing that. It seems as if I write a lot about this ‘saying yes’ mentality and being willing to try new things. In fact, I do write a lot about it. And while I contemplated whether this column should be about that as well, I decided to go ahead and repeat the message because it is so true and pertinent. I truly don’t know what my study abroad experience would be like so far if I hadn’t said yes to so many things. Perhaps I would be a little less tired and hungover, but that wouldn’t be very fun. Some of my best memories have come from things I would have normally said no to.
So for now, I’ll happily accept being hungry, tired and hungover if it means I’m also present, curious and living fully in a place that constantly asks me to step outside my comfort zone. In the end, Barcelona hasn’t just given me new streets to stumble down and new foods to curiously sniff. It has continually reminded me how much life can open up by just saying yes.
I still don’t know what my semester will look like. No one does! All I know is that if I keep saying yes and keep enjoying every second I have here, I’ll keep collecting stories, friendships and moments that feel surreal. And if the price is a little exhaustion and a little chaos, I’m more than happy to pay it.
Staying up until the sun rises,
Ben Rachel
