Reality TV takes over primetime
January 14In the past few years, television viewers have seen an uncontrolled departure from the basic half-hour sitcoms and hour-long dramas that used to dominate primetime schedules. Beginning four years ago, the game show trend swallowed up time slots reserved for the latest Dick Wolf offering or Seinfeld spin-off. Water cooler chat revolved around the idiot on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire who thought that Hannibal crossed the Alps with llamas, not elephants. Chuck Woolery was actually popular, and Maury Povich had a show where his guests were not "12-year old skanks who dress like their mommas." That got boring fast, and the ingenious Mark Burnett brought Survivor to the small screen. The reality genre that was born on MTV with The Real World arrived on the networks, and took off like a rocket ship. Slowly, however, the quality in reality television began to spiral into a bane of morality, producing possibly the most tasteless and hackneyed set of midseason replacement series ever. The most highly publicized and highly watched reality show now is Joe Millionaire, which adds a typical "only FOX would do this" twist to the greatest aspects of ABC's The Bachelor. Surprisingly, it has been a big success. The show stars construction worker/bum Evan Wallace (aka Evan Marriot) as a bachelor with a $50 million inheritance who plays host to twenty money-grabbing single ladies. The catch is that he does not make $50 million _ or even one million _ he brings in just $19,000 a year. Wallace's motive is to find the one woman that is truly honest and special and does not value money over true love. How he expects to find such a woman on a show whose entire premise is based on lying and having lots of money is beyond this reviewer's understanding. By now, Wallace has eliminated fifteen of the twenty original poor saps, all of whom are still under the impression that their beau is a multi-millionaire. The fantastic denouement of the show will be when Wallace finally tells his "one true love" that he's a phony, and expect the announcement to be one of the greatest moments of television this year. It will also be one of the tackiest and nastiest moments as well, but this year, it's all the same thing. Joe Millionaire is just one example of how American television viewers have gone from watching with voyeuristic pleasure the backstabbing contestants on Survivor to taking joy in watching others being embarrassed in front of millions, a trend started by American Idol. The sequel to this summer hit premieres next week, returning with its greatest star, insulter extraordinaire, Simon Cowell. Responding to shows like American Idol, CBS, in its misguided wisdom, tried to bring back Star Search with Arsenio Hall in the old Ed McMahon role as host. While based on the similar "nobody to somebody" premise as American Idol II, the show will most definitely fail without the presence of Idol's mean and nasty Brit. Simon provides the guilty pleasure that is entirely necessary for a reality television series to be successful. One of the few things more enjoyable than watching random people being embarrassed is watching quasi-celebrities being embarrassed. Two new shows of this theme, the WB's Surreal Life and ABC's Celebrity Mole, will hopefully offer many opportunities for what ESPN columnist Bill Simmons calls the Unintentional Comedy Rating (UCR). The champion of the UCR is Corey Feldman, who stars in Surreal Life with Emmanuel Lewis, known for his role as Webster, Jerri from Survivor II, MC Hammer, and others. The basis of the show is irrelevant. All you need to know is they all live in one house, for ten days, and they have to do crazy stuff. The UCR should go through the roof, and if it doesn't, the WB will have missed a great opportunity. ABC's Celebrity Mole, on the other hand, offers a sad look at how low "celebrities" will sink to keep their grasp on some sense of stardom. At least in Surreal Life, the cast knows they are washed up and have no possible future in show business. In Mole, former personalities like Stephen Baldwin (Usual Suspects), Corbin Bensen (LA Law) and Kathy Griffin (Suddenly Susan) all star in this show about lying, going to exotic places and accomplishing odd tasks. Considering that not many viewers tuned in for the original The Mole series, it is doubtful that any will watch these phonies doing the same thing. With shows like these, the future of reality television looks bleak at best as the "too tasteless even for FOX" line nears closer and closer. This industry relies on guilty pleasures and when they become too mainstream, they cease to be guilty and therefore cease to be watchable. With the exception of The Osbournes, none of the reality shows are really all that great, but it sure beats watching Chuck Woolery and his "need for greed."

